Hurt yourself…

“But I know whats its like to want to die. How it hurts to smile, how you try to fit in but you can’t. You hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the things on the inside.” –Girl, Interrupted

I just got done with the dishes and cleaning up. I have picked up my room and now I’m just sitting here typing this up.

Nikki is going to get a car real soon. That means RIDES for Rainbow. =) Which is always good!

I put that little thing from Girl, Interrupted on this entry because I feel like that so often now. For the past two weeks there hasn’t been a day that I went to school without someone making me want to cry and be alone. Kitten seems to think its her but its not. I’m just don’t feel the same. I feel like maybe I just need that one good friend that loves me no matter what. Kitten just keeps saying that I do have those kind of friends and I just don’t know it. They are around me and I just don’t see it. Well, maybe….I can think of 2 people first off, One: Nikki and Two: Chris….Sometimes I think Chris lust after me more then anything. I know he is my “best” friend and all but sometimes he makes me wonder….I love the boy but just as a brother (he’s the brother my brother never was). And then Nikki….I’m not to sure how we became so close. It was something that just happen. I’m glad of it. I can run to her NO matter what and TELL her everything without the fear she will say something to someone or tell me something that I don’t need to hear. She will just tell me the truth and nothing more. I like that about Nikki. Thats what makes her….well, her. =)

Well, I have wrote a lot. I’m sure some lost soul is reading this right now…thinking…..right! I’m off to sleep, cry or think or something like that….