I keep writing the same thing. Save me. What does those words really mean at this point? What I need and what I really want is two very different things. Save me. Two very simple words. Very strong simple words.

I like to think I have been a very strong person. That I have been a very willful person. Does that make sense? I mean, really? I know it doesn’t. It’s cool. I never make sense. Most people that know me, doesn’t truly know me. They know a person I project.

I haven’t really been truthful to many people. Not many people around me sees the person I am. In side I am screaming at the top of my lungs for help. Save me. Those words again. What do I need to be saved from? Myself. No, never. That can’t be.

Or again, I am fighting a battle I can’t win. Most likely the case. Silly me. Fighting for this, fighting this stupid battle. Lets see what happens, happen. No, nothing works out that way. Or does it. Well, for some it does. Not me, never for me. Wait, my optimist side is showing. That’s me Miss Sunshine herself. No, wait. That is a lie too.

Call me Emo, or Sad or whatever the word. I am me. Scared. Has secret. Has lies. Has some much hidden. Not many people see this side. I wish they knew. Everyone has secret. Mine just happen to be big. . .not really. Same secrets as everyone else.

It hurts to know something about people. The little stuff is what hurts. I can seem to forgive about the big stuff. The little stuff is what hurts. The little comments or action that cuts right to the soul. It’s hard to watch your soul mate walk away. To tell you “Cake, yum. Can I have it and eat it too?” Why not? Silly me.

I can’t believe how I feel. Silly me. Save me. Simple so fucking simple. Maybe that is the problem in itself. Nothing is simple but this one thing. Truly is. How odd? How funny? How queer? Not really. I have become mad.