Such jealousy

I was upset about a week ago over an act that Cj done to me. I wanted to let it go but it still kind of bothers me. He read my myspace messages. Well, really it was only one. And that one was to my ex-husband. We (as me and my ex-husband) both promised to stay friends if we ever go divorced and now that we are we still talk on the phone about once a month and now we email about that often. Nothing big, just to check on each other.

I don’t understand this jealousy thing he has over me. I have never had that before. Everyone I have ever been with has never acted like that before until now. I understand that he is scared of losing me but like I told him. He doesn’t have anything to worry about. I want to understand.

I want to forget it happen. He told me “He understood if I left or wanted him to move out or whatever”. But I love him very much and he said he wouldn’t do it again. I want to believe him. I want to be like “Okay”. But for some reason I say I’m okay and I have went on and I have forgave him for this act but still I let it sit in the back of my mind. Nothing like it is going to sit there and then I just blow up one day. Nothing even like that. I just think about it from time to time. I almost don’t want to leave my account on my computer open. He doesn’t have my passwords but on the other hand; I don’t have anything to hide. I didn’t care that he read it. I just wanted him to ask first. I don’t have anything to hide from anyone, let a lone him.

I find it useless to hide anything. It just causes problems but I feel like he hides things from me. He might not but I still can’t help to fill that way. Maybe it’s because I don’t hide anything and I feel like everyone has something to hide. Oh, well, I know. . .well, hope if he is that he will tell me and not keep it from me ever. He says he feels that everyone has secrets. Maybe he is right. . .

By Jenn

Beautiful, 30 something, geek by choice, happily married for 6+ years, college graduate, perfectly imperfect, blogger, fur mom, music lover! I'm tattooed, pierced & wild at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Project 42; the answer to life the universe and everything.

2 comments

  1. I understand you. It’s really hard when a person you love is jealous and obviously doesn’t really trust you.
    Also, I think he’s kinda right with everyone having secrets,or nearly everyone, but using this to satisfy his reading of your messages is totally wrong.Hopefully everything will be okay soon.

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Such jealousy

Originally published at Geek-Talk.Us. Please leave any comments there.

I was upset about a week ago over an act that Cj done to me. I wanted to let it go but it still kind of bothers me. He read my myspace messages. Well, really it was only one. And that one was to my ex-husband. We (as me and my ex-husband) both promised to stay friends if we ever go divorced and now that we are we still talk on the phone about once a month and now we email about that often. Nothing big, just to check on each other.

I don’t understand this jealousy thing he has over me. I have never had that before. Everyone I have ever been with has never acted like that before until now. I understand that he is scared of losing me but like I told him. He doesn’t have anything to worry about. I want to understand.

I want to forget it happen. He told me “He understood if I left or wanted him to move out or whatever”. But I love him very much and he said he wouldn’t do it again. I want to believe him. I want to be like “Okay”. But for some reason I say I’m okay and I have went on and I have forgave him for this act but still I let it sit in the back of my mind. Nothing like it is going to sit there and then I just blow up one day. Nothing even like that. I just think about it from time to time. I almost don’t want to leave my account on my computer open. He doesn’t have my passwords but on the other hand; I don’t have anything to hide. I didn’t care that he read it. I just wanted him to ask first. I don’t have anything to hide from anyone, let a lone him.

I find it useless to hide anything. It just causes problems but I feel like he hides things from me. He might not but I still can’t help to fill that way. Maybe it’s because I don’t hide anything and I feel like everyone has something to hide. Oh, well, I know. . .well, hope if he is that he will tell me and not keep it from me ever. He says he feels that everyone has secrets. Maybe he is right. . .

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Categorized as Daily life

By Jenn

Beautiful, 30 something, geek by choice, happily married for 6+ years, college graduate, perfectly imperfect, blogger, fur mom, music lover! I'm tattooed, pierced & wild at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Project 42; the answer to life the universe and everything.