Complex person

If you could delete any memory/person out of your mind for ever, would you?

I asked that in my twitter, no one really answered but one person. I truly believe everything happens and everyone meets for a reason. When one door closes another one opens. The end is not here if everything isn’t okay.

I finally am feeling content again. I finally feel like everything might be okay. Everything has fallen in the places it is suppose to be. One more person, one more day, it is nothing but another puzzle piece that fits in with the rest of my life.

I keep telling myself, I’m dreaming but sleeping no dream. I want everything to be as perfect as it was when I was 18 before the baby, before the tears, before being jaded from life. I wouldn’t take back all these years. They make me the person I am today. I have become a better person because of my down falls. The difference is that I have learned from my mistakes. I have taken a lesson from my faults. I tell myself, that everyone is fighting a harder battle, that I can over come anything and everything that finds a way into my life.

Then some days I feel as if I can’t. That I am nothing but a failure in everything I have done or will ever do. I am not this bright beautiful women standing before you but simply a jaded little girl, that has not learned a damn thing.

But, Jennifer, how can you say you have learned lessons in one paragraph and say you are nothing and have not learned a damn thing. Hello? I am just that, a complex person, that I have started seeing just the tip of who I am. I wonderful, scared jaded young women, that has fought for everything and learned entirety to much for my age. I don’t even believe this makes sense to me at this point. I do believe that is the idea.

3 thoughts on “Complex person

  1. Keith says:

    I agree with you; even people I’ve hated throughout my life, I’d still remember. They make up as much of me as those I’ve cared for. I know you have bad days sometimes, and if you ever need to talk, you know how to reach me…but I truly believe you’re gonna be okay after it’s all said and done. Take care.

  2. If it weren’t for the fact that almost every person in my life has helped shape who I am, I don’t think I would erase anyone, but some days I wish I could. I think I’d rather erase events versus the actual person/memory.

    I’m almost 25 and I still have my days where I think I’ve lost who I am, and then there are the days when I’m strong, and proud.

    I know my mom feels that way sometimes, and she’s in her 60’s. I think it helps ground us. Insta-swift kick in the ass when we are getting big headed lol.

  3. Greg says:

    it is the memories and people of the past that has gotten us to the stage of life we are at now. i honestly don’t think i would erase anything, because i am happy were i am now

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