Miscarriage . . .

Well, I went to the doctor the 15th and he seem to think I might be pregnant but didn’t know for sure. Well, I was. I had a miscarriage yesterday afternoon. I woke up and was hurting really bad. Keith’s mom took me to the ER and I had a miscarriage. I am still bleeding pretty bad and I am still hurting. They gave me pain pills. The pain pills help a little but I feel so empty inside. I have already lost most of my stomach I had and my weight has start to drop as well. 😥

I don’t know what to think. Keith and I are both so upset. I know it’s not the end of the world but I still feel very hurt inside. Like part of my soul got cut out. You know?

I guess I will go. I need to eat something.

80 GB External Hard Drive, BABY!

My father-in-law got me a new external hard drive (80 GB)! Like OMG! I only had a 30 GB hard drive in the first place. I’m in love! :heart: I’m for real! The reason he bought me a new hard drive is because we work out deals for web design. I work on his site for computer stuff or money or whatever at the moment he feels like giving me for work. I can work for computer stuff. Because other wise Keith nor I could buy it. YAY! *does happy Nikki dance*

I go to the doctor today. It has been driving me nuts not know for sure. I mean, I know for sure but I would rather hear it from a doc. My weight at the moment is now 104 lbs and my stomach around is 30 inches. I most likely will start a page for the baby. A page showing my stomach picture once a week, a weight chart and how much my stomach as grown. More for me then anything. I would like to keep up with it. And it would be nice to know this stuff. LOL You know?

I am so sleeply. I got up early today. Well, not to early but still I’m tired. :yawn: Keith has already gone to bed. I don’t think he is on good terms with me right now. I didn’t want to watch a movie with him and he decided to go on to bed. I don’t blame him. I know he is tired too.

After I finish this blog entry I am going to upload a couple things for Chet (my father-in-law) and then I’m off to bed. After I get back from the doctor tomorrow today. I am going to make a new skin, take down the old ones, update my FL and HL because I was stupid and deleted my data bases and I had to restore from the point before I edited them, so yet again I have to go through and edit the links again. I was bright that day and then I have to fix Keith’s site for him and then I have to clean the house. My damn house looks so bad. I just have been putting everything off since Keith had a 4 day weekend. I just would rather spend my time with Keith then do anything.

On the plus side, I was talking to our family and since Keith’s cousin, Rachel’s baby will to old for all his new-born stuff when our baby is born so we can have all of the babys stuff like that. Then my cousins (two just had babies) will have all their stuff. One had a boy and one had a girl. So, either way we are getting some great stuff. YAY!! 😀 I love baby stuff. It’s so cute! I need a baby smilie. Ummm… I’m great!

Is it bad, if I’m falling a sleep at the keyboard? :yawn: Very likely. I’m off. Night *head hits keyboard* :ouch:

I feel like I’m going to be sick

The the past couple days I have felt like I’m going to be sick. Not a little sick, but like I need to run for the bathroom. :yuck: I have been sleeping about 10-14 hours every night. I feel like I need it. If I don’t get that much I feel like I am going to fall a sleep in the middle of talking. Which has never happen to me. Man, the more days go by the more I believe I’m having a baby.

Thank you everyone who left such sweet and hopeful comments. It means a lot to me and my husband. I know a couple of you guys made the comment about how young I am. I know I’m very young but I know the older I get the harder it is to get pregnant and to take care of a child. My husband is 23 and is going on 24 in December. I’ll be 20 in November. So, we are not as young as soon mothers and fathers. I know that even though we are young, my husband will stand by me no matter what. I know that my husband would NEVER just drop his family to do what he wanted and I know that my husband would work himself to death to put food on the table for his family. I pray he would never do that (work himself to death) but I know he would.

I need to get off the rant. LOL Well, it really isn’t a rant but anywho. I have to go to Keith’s cousin, Rachel’s baby shower this Saturday. I kind of don’t want to go but I know I need to since I’m newest family member and it would be nice of me. We bought the baby sleepers and little Ts and a toy peep. The peep is my favorite thing. Its all cute and stuff. I think her baby is about 4 or 5 weeks old now.

I have decided to make our baby’s first blanket. I’m crocheting our baby’s blanket. I am using yarn that is purple, blue, light green, yellow and dark green and the colors flow right in to each other. I will have to take some pictures when I’m done. 😀 I am very proud of it. I know those colors can be used on either a boy or a girl. You know? I told Keith I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as they are healthy and happy. That’s the important thing to me and he agrees. But deep down I know he wants a boy. What man doesn’t?


Well, I find out March 15th if I’m pregnant. I haven’t had a period since January 1st-8th. My weight at the moment is 101 lbs (normal weight about 96 – 97 lb) and I have put 4 inchs around my stomach. I am eating everything in sight. Last night Keith took me to Wendys to get some food and I ate chillie, a salad, fruit bowl, and a bake potatoe all in one setting. I feel sick in the mornings when I get up. None of my pants fit me. I had to buy a new pair just to have something to wear. It’s crazy. If I’m right then I am. I’m not showing up on any pee test but the 15th we are going to get a blood test done.

I really want to be. Keith and I have been waiting a baby for a while. I stop taking my pills and we have been trying for one. Keith is so happy. We are almost 99.9% sure that I am. Which makes me very happy. We are going to start looking for a bigger apartment for right now. Then start saving like crazy for the baby and a house. If I’m right about when I got pregnant, I’m about 9 weeks along and the baby would be born around October 8th or so. Another birthday at the end of the year. LOL

Keith and I have already talked about names as well. If a boy Eric Marchall (Eric is my fathers middle name and Marchall is his fathers middle name) and if a girl Jillian Rebecca (Jillian because I love the name and Rebecca because that’s his moms middle name). I just love the way Jillian sounds. It’s so pretty. 🙂

I really hope I am pregnant. I feel different, I think I feel pregnant but I don’t know what pregnant feels like so, I don’t know. *giggles* :heart: But either way, if I am, then this baby will have all the love in the world and will know that he/she was wanted more then anything and if I’m not then we will keep trying. We want a baby.