You might have guess who got me playing his little RPG. That’s right my little butt-nugget. I mean, Keith. I really do feel like such a dork. :nerd: But I can’t help but play it. I’m a cute little Elf named Etear. 🙂 I rock.

My brother gets out of jail Friday. I can’t wait to see him. He has been in there for something like 3 years or longer. He will finally be able to meet Keith. This will be so great. Mojo is going to make me a cake in the shape of soap on a rope for me. How funny? 😀 I really do believe Raymond is going to laugh at it. Well, I hope he does.

Monday I have to work but on the plus side my Dad is picking me up Tuesday so I can go to the Eye doctor Wednesday. Mom is going to bring me back Wednesday night. It will be the first night Keith and I have been a part since we got married But it’s for a good reason. I will be getting new glasses. I can’t wait. I need them so bad. I can see very well at all. I’ve not went to the eye doctor since before I got married. I’ve not had the money. Rent/bill money seems so much more important.

I really hope Keith and I can start getting a head. I had working and feeling like I get no where. It really feels like that. But I believe most people have those weeks/months.

Come on now

I got up around 11:39 after the fact I hadn’t been a sleep for very long. Then went to the Health Department for my birth control and then came home and went back to sleep. I felt a little better after I got up.It’s raining here. That’s why I slept so good.

I put up a new layout last night. I love it. The colors are something I normally wouldn’t go with but it turned out great. I do believe.

I really wish Keith would get off his stupid little RPG. I know he has been on his computer since I went back to bed. That makes it going on 4 hours. Come on now. Spend time with your wife. 😡

Maybe I am

Maybe I am doing something right. Finally it seems Keith and I have reached a standing point, a meeting ground. I hope so. We sat on the bad thoughts (leaving each other) and we sat on the good ones :love: for a few days before talking about it. I really think we have worked something out. I truly hope so. It feels like it has.

I can see it in his eyes that he truly wants us to be okay and be happy together. I can see he really is going to try this time. It makes me smile. 🙂 I know how much I want us to be okay :heart: but it takes two.

Good News: I finally made it to management. I start my training next week. This means better pay. I will make $6.75 not $6. This is going to help Keith and me so much. I’m really going to start saving money. I have too. I’m opening up my own account so I can keep track of my design money and my money I’m not paying on bills. :cheery: I’m proud of myself. It takes really hard work to move up. Most people will never understand how hard fast food is. It’s not easy to smile and hand really rude people their food. Knowing that that person was so rude to your crew.

Where did I go wrong?

Keith and I had another big fight today. That’s right another. Most people think we are this happy couple that get along great. We don’t. We are always fighting about something. We work together so that makes it even worse. We never had anytime to ourselves. We ALWAYS have someone over or have something to do. Which makes it impossible to really get anything done or to really spend time with each other. The time we really need.

I love my husband more than anything in this world. I truly believe that I would go crazy without yet both of us are miserable most of the time. I don’t know what to do anymore. We have been fighting like this for the past year. It just seems to get worse. Keith has a very bad temper. He has always had it but never showed it to me until these last few months. He scares me so bad. I’m not sure what he will do. I mean I know he would never hit me or anything but far as yelling at me and stuff like that. He does it all the time over silly things that really don’t matter to either of us. Things in 20 minutes let alone the rest of our lives that just don’t matter. I don’t get that. Why we fight over silly things. I know they are silly yet I hate being talked to like that.

I feel like cry just about all the time or if not crying trying to find outlets. I’m always work. I’m always stressed and never sleep. I feel sick all the time and yet I push on. I have to push on because I know if I don’t know one else will.

Keith and I fight over house stuff a lot or what he wants to buy. He wants to buy guns. I want to save up for a house/land. I want him to help with the house work. He WON’T. I work 35+ hours a week and then come home and clean for another 1+ hours a night. Plus I have to do web design work just about every night; that’s another 2+ hours, just right there. He works 25+ hours a week and comes home to watch TV/play on his computer. I have to beg him to help me and when he finally does it takes him around a week to do anything.

I just don’t understand. I work so hard for us to have a life together and I know he does too and here we are throwing it all away over silly things. Crazy. How dumb can we be?