The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours-it is an amazing journey-and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. — Unknown

I posted this a few months ago. This same quote. I don’t think of it as mine own now nor did I then. My life never feels safe anymore. I don’t feel what I use to and I sure as hell don’t feel the same now.

I don’t feel lost anymore. I don’t feel anger. I feel for the people around me. I want closeness. I don’t get it but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.

I want to go hang out when I want without being worried that I will have to come home to someone that will be mad. When they was doing the same thing 6 months ago. When he wanted to do it, it was all fine. I know he will most likely be mad about this too. Surprise. I’m sick and tired of him thinking I’m always in the wrong. I know I’m not perfect. I know I mess up. I know I am wrong. . .a lot. I’m not wrong for wanting to be happy. To want to have fun.

I want him to realize. We should be doing this whole life thing together, no fighting it with each but fighting it for each other. You know what I mean? I am happy at times. Happier than I had ever been. Then their is times I cry and I get worried and I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel lost.

Maybe things will get better. I can hope. Tomorrow is a new day.