I’ve not updated in so long I feel like I don’t even have a blog anymore. I miss blogging but it’s like I don’t have time or I just don’t “feel” like it or it’s not what the cool kids or doing anymore. I know that sounds silly. I truly miss blogging. I need to get back in to the habit of it; if only just to write to write.
Since I turned 31 in November, I decided I had to make some changes and do more things for me and my family. One of those things was change careers. I started school in January for Medical Billing and Coding. I’m only a few courses in but I hope to like it. I just know I need to make a little better money and working from home like I am now would be a bonus when I switch jobs.
Also, Kyle and I have decided to not pursue IVF. I was going to say we but it’s more I don’t have the heart to do IVF to get a negative result nor do I want to put the money into IVF to try once. Our insurance has a life time pay out of $10,000 on infertility but after all the tests it has paid on and then what the IVF would cost us out of pocket. It still is a lot of money for us to try. Then once the $10,000 is gone. We have to start paying out of pocket. Which we all know, once is never enough when trying with IVF. Normally it takes a few tries. I can’t take the heart break of all the times. My body can’t take it. My doctors aren’t to sure I can even carry anyway.
At this point Kyle and I have decided to pursue foster care to adopt. It’s low cost, lots of children need a home and we have lots of love to give them. We decided everything with that process is a little easier on our hearts than IVF. I know it’s hard. I know it can be just as heart breaking but I can physically hold a foster child in my arms to love. I can’t hold a promise that the IVF might work. This, this I can. I know this is what is right for us. I know it isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. That’s what is so hard about infertility and if you haven’t had the fight, it’s hard to understand. It’s hard to understand the idea of not being able to continue your bloodline with your husband or face another baby shower invite or one person saying “just relax” or “once you adopt, that’s when you will get pregnant.”. Those “pills” are the hardest to swallow. But I digress.
Anyway, I am going to try to at least start updating once a week. No promises. Work on a new theme. Who knows. I take tons of pictures. Maybe bring back Wordless Wednesday again. 🙂