11Feb   Time where did it go

Time WHY

It’s been a while since I last updated. I’ve been wanting to update but who has the time. I mean, I guess I have had the time. Over all I just felt like I haven’t.

My in-laws moved back from Florida this past November and had been staying with us until this past week when they got their own place. It just took them a little longer than they wanted to find the right one. Then like normal I have Meadow every weekend. I keep Zoe (my friend’s little girl, she’s 6 years old) every day, well, I put her on the bus, get her off the bus and do all homework every day. Sometimes, have her more often then that.

Plus, I coupon still. I have also started cleaning Kyle’s grandmother apartment once a month and cleaning for my grandmother about 2 – 3 times monthly and I have to do all grocery shopping for my grandmother since my step-grandfather got sick. It makes it hard to have time management skills, if you don’t have time to manage. I also still have to keep up with our normal house stuff and animals and what not. It makes normal living hard when you have so many people pulling on you each way.

We are still trying to have a baby, which we know we still have to do IVF. We hope to start that this spring. Money is always playing the biggest part in that. We have been working on paying off credit debit and improving credit scores and what not. Plus, trying to improve our home a little at a time. Which isn’t easy nor cheap. It all takes time. . .which feels like we don’t have.

I turn 30 this year and I feel like the clock is just ticking away. I feel the clock just ticking louder and louder. Which I hate. The joys of beating teen pregnancy, and 20 something pregnancy. I just don’t know if I can handle turning 30 and being childless. We are suppose to have our family now. We did everything right. We work, we pay bills, we got the house, we got married. We have the “american” dream. Why can’t we have this? Why does my bank account decide if we can try to have kids?

It feels like every meth-head around me is having baby after baby. Every unemployed mother/father living off the government can have a baby but because we do the right thing and my body, my husband’s body (we are the 20% that infertility effects both people) can’t do the one thing it is suppose to do we can’t get help. How is that fair? The government will pay for WIC, food stamps and medical care for all these people, but won’t help me become pregnant. Or help pay half the bill, anything at this point would help. It just doesn’t seem fair. Maybe if I had been irresponsible as a teen or as a young adult it would be different, I could have 2 or 3 kids with as many baby-daddies and let them pay the bill. But at last, I did the right thing, waited till I was married, ready to have kids. And then, I feel like it’s now almost to late. Which I know is silly, women now have kids almost to 40. Just feels silly sometimes. Hurtful somehow.


25Apr   Life is happening right before my eyes

OMG, this is the second time I am typing out this entry due to my server just stop responding, then throwing a “Database Error” then when I click back it just has nothing shown and WordPress hasn’t “auto saved”. Almost every night around this time this happens. I am starting to get upset by this just because I am trying to blog more but every time I do I lose it. Then it makes me mad so I don’t want to re do it. Blah. So, I guess I will just start typing everything in Evernote, that way I know it’s saved. I can copy and paste with the best of them.

/end rant

On to what the entry was suppose to be about. I feel like life has been passing me by the last couple of months but this is no surprise since I got older time doesn’t slow down at all. I remember when I was a kid summer lasted forever! I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Now, I wake up a new month as started. I am still dating checks for 2011. This fixing to be May what is wrong with me.

We have still been looking at houses and we haven’t found anything we like really. Everything that is in our price range isn’t really worth our time. To much work needs to be done to it to move in. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of a “fixer-upper” but black mold isn’t on my top 10 things to live with. Just saying. :poke:

Cammie and I have been talking and trying to get some ideas together for her next visit coming this July. I think we have a couple places I know we want to do for sure. Zoo. FTW! πŸ˜€ Also, the more I talk to Kyle about it, the more he wants to come with us as well. πŸ˜€ We are pretty awesome like that.

I also renewed my Flickr pro account and uploaded a butt ton of photos there.

Well, I need to catch a shower before I head to bed. I have to be up early in the morning so I can go with my grandma to the doctor. Then we are going to go shopping then who knows what else.


16Apr   Flower #photoadayApril

Flower

Flower

Flower: Photo A Day Challenge (I picked one of my grandma’s flowers. Not sure the real name but she always called them hens and chickens. This reminds me of home.)


24Feb   You know what I miss?

I use to be so awesome at this blogging thing and then I started working full time, school full time and a husband. WTF??

I miss the internet. I miss my web sites. . .most of all I miss designing for no reason. I really want to just sit down and code a site from start to finish just because. . . πŸ™ This makes me a sad hippo!

Also, it was my grandmother’s 73rd birthday today. I took her out for dinner and we went shopping all day. I really enjoy those days. πŸ™‚ My grandmother is an awesome women. And without her I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am thankful everyday I have another day with her.

PS: Kyle got me a iPod touch 4th gen (Piggy is it’s name). I do love it! I like it way better than my iPhone, why because I can use it as an iPod not my life line.


4Nov   Blah

I have almost failed already at this blogging everyday. :/ I waited until the last minute to blog.

We got up early, went to buy our marriage license, drop it off at my grandma’s so we didn’t misplace or dogs chew it up. lol πŸ˜€

I am so tired. Work has been crazy and busy. To many people want shit and no one wants to be nice ordering it.

It’s cold and my warm sheets are calling my name.