Author: Jenn

Jenn http://jennifer-cowles.org Beautiful, 30 something, geek by choice, happily married for 6+ years, college graduate, perfectly imperfect, blogger, fur mom, music lover! I'm tattooed, pierced & wild at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Project 42; the answer to life the universe and everything.

My head is going to explode

I swear it is! I might just blow up myself. Maybe not, but maybe I will. Sometimes I’m in such a great mood. I believe nothing could bring me down. I could be happy. But other days, I truly believe it won’t get better. Nothing will. I have so much envy and jealousy for people. Even people that I don’t even know. Just random blogs I read. It seems everyone has a better life then me. I seem to suck at life. I don’t understand.

I’m sick and tired of people that just wait it out and everything works out. They don’t have to work for anything. It pisses me the right the fuck off! :yuck: I mean, like my brother.  It makes me so angry. He doesn’t work, he doesn’t worry about anything and everything works out for him some how. In the end, everything always works out.

I work all the damn time and I never get anything great in return. I don’t understand why people that work hard can’t get something great in return.

I want everything for once to just come together without fighting for it!! Damn it!!! I’m tired of it always being a daily battle for everything in my life. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I want everything handed to me. I just want it to be a little more simple. I don’t mind working for the things in my life. That isn’t the problem.

Where did it go. . .

Another day has come and gone. In 6 days I will be 22. WTF? When did this happen? When did I wake up and realize I’m 21? Where did the time go? It seems like last week I was 16, didn’t have a care in the world. But now, I’m 22.

My dad once told me “Your wishing your life away.” I never did believe him. He also said “You wish you was 16, then 18, then 21 before you know it you wake up 40 with a house, kids, etc.” I never truly believed him until later. Here I am, blinking and now my life is flashing before my eyes. When did it happen? I’m so scared I’m going to wake up 40. That scares the living hell out of me. I’m missing the best years of my life. I believe next year I will set goals. One, going back to school (maybe a degree in Business math or something like that), two, get my own place with NO room mates (nothing wrong with room mates); just us two and kitty, three, buy myself something for no good reason. Yeah, sounds easy. . .never easy. lol I will be making more money, CJ will have a job and everything will come together. 😉 I have hopes. I have dreams. I once read in someones blog “All Dreams are Dead. So make new ones”. This I will do.

New dreams, new beginings, new life. I have what it takes. I’m smart. I’m a great person. I am ME!!

Friday Five – Oct 26

  • Of peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, which are you most lacking? Peace. . .I always seem to fight with someone.
  • Of peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, which are you most blessed with? Kindness. I’m always way to kind.
  • The Scout Law says that a scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Which of these are relative strengths for you? I’m very loyal. It’s up to the person to keep me loyal.
  • Which of the elements in the Scout Law are relative weaknesses for you? Cheerful. I can’t be a cheerful all the time. . .damn it!
  • If you were to create a list-type law, such as the Scout Law, for your occupation, what might it look like? Umm. . .not sure on that one. Need time to think.
  • Thanks to: Friday5.Org

It’s going to be okay

Life will be okay. Simply put. Everything will be okay. I can’t look on the down side. I’m loved. I’m in a pretty good mood right now and I have everything I could ask for in this moment. Okay. . .nothing is as bad as it seems.

Plus Cj said I could get a kitty. Yayness! Things might be looking up.

I’m off to cook a meal, clean a little before work. Later.

It’s going to be okay

Life will be okay. Simply put. Everything will be okay. I can’t look on the down side. I’m loved. I’m in a pretty good mood right now and I have everything I could ask for in this moment. Okay. . .nothing is as bad as it seems.

Plus Cj said I could get a kitty. Yayness! Things might be looking up. I’m off to cook a meal, clean a little before work. Later.