random moments

Tomorrow is a new day

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours-it is an amazing journey-and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. — Unknown

I posted this a few months ago. This same quote. I don’t think of it as mine own now nor did I then. My life never feels safe anymore. I don’t feel what I use to and I sure as hell don’t feel the same now.

I don’t feel lost anymore. I don’t feel anger. I feel for the people around me. I want closeness. I don’t get it but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.

I want to go hang out when I want without being worried that I will have to come home to someone that will be mad. When they was doing the same thing 6 months ago. When he wanted to do it, it was all fine. I know he will most likely be mad about this too. Surprise. I’m sick and tired of him thinking I’m always in the wrong. I know I’m not perfect. I know I mess up. I know I am wrong. . .a lot. I’m not wrong for wanting to be happy. To want to have fun.

I want him to realize. We should be doing this whole life thing together, no fighting it with each but fighting it for each other. You know what I mean? I am happy at times. Happier than I had ever been. Then their is times I cry and I get worried and I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel lost.

Maybe things will get better. I can hope. Tomorrow is a new day.

Shoot me please

Not much really been going on. Same old stuff.

Printer won’t work for some odd reason. It just won’t come on. Work is well work. I like it better then my old job. I like being able to sit at a desk. 🙂 My dad had to go to the doctor he thought he pulled something. Turns out he has a tumor like growth that he has to have removed and lets see, what else. I finally made a couple of friends here. Everything has been mixed up around here. Not all bad but not all good. Just in the middle it seems.

I don’t know what the hell really is going on. I have had this feeling of being over whelmed for days now. I can’t seem to shack it. I feel worried. I have been having nightmares just about every night. I don’t know. . .I just don’t know.

Putting it off

I’m not sure why I keep putting off updating. I’ve really not been that busy. I have been working Mon – Fri 10am – 7pm for the last two weeks and for the next two weeks for OJT (On the Job Training) I’m working 2pm -11pm. Then my normal work week will begin. Which will be Sunday and Monday off Tuesday – Saturday 3:30 to 11pm. I will be doing Web Chat for Verizon Wireless. I’m customer care. 😯 lol

I’ve made a new layout and umm. . .finally checked my email. Not much else. Oh, yeah, watching a crap-ton of Nip/Tuck. I’m so addicted.

PS: Today is Caroline’s 10th birthday. Where did the time go? OMG!

Ages ago

I should have been in bed ages ago. I’m very tired but can’t sleep. Like always.

Let’s see what the hell that has been going on. Umm. . .

  • Start a new job next week.
  • Last day at Arby’s is Sunday.
  • Still unpacking stuff from the move.
  • Cj and I are getting along very well at the moment.
  • I did like this layout for about 10 seconds but now I want something new.
  • Been on the computer updating stuff all night. (Got my links updated and my page redone)
  • Have a few ideas for a layout. Can’t seem to put them down yet.
  • I have to be up in a few hours. :yuck:

I think that about sums it up. Great, huh?  Maybe time for bed, maybe not. Not sure yet. If I stay up I can see the pretty snow we got. Very lovely to look at but not so good to drive in. Thank goodness Cj come and got me last night. Well, CJ and Dustan. Same differences, right? 😆

Yayness

I finally got my act together and put my thoughts into a layout. I love how simple it is and the colors. Something besides pink. :yuck: I don’t think I could have looked at it another day.

I’ve changed a few things around and edited my menu a little. Nothing else to report.

Went to my mother’s house today. Washes a ton of clothes and cleaned house a bit. Going to try to get Cj up to come to bed.

I believe it’s shower time for me. Then a bite to eat.

The life of a me. Sounds like so much phone.