- Of peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, which are you most lacking? Peace. . .I always seem to fight with someone.
- Of peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, which are you most blessed with? Kindness. I’m always way to kind.
- The Scout Law says that a scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Which of these are relative strengths for you? I’m very loyal. It’s up to the person to keep me loyal.
- Which of the elements in the Scout Law are relative weaknesses for you? Cheerful. I can’t be a cheerful all the time. . .damn it!
- If you were to create a list-type law, such as the Scout Law, for your occupation, what might it look like? Umm. . .not sure on that one. Need time to think.
- Thanks to: Friday5.Org
random moments
It’s going to be okay
Life will be okay. Simply put. Everything will be okay. I can’t look on the down side. I’m loved. I’m in a pretty good mood right now and I have everything I could ask for in this moment. Okay. . .nothing is as bad as it seems.
Plus Cj said I could get a kitty. Yayness! Things might be looking up.
I’m off to cook a meal, clean a little before work. Later.
Nor do I
I feel so used sometimes. I know he doesn’t mean it that way. It feels sometimes that he always gets what he wants in the end and I am stuck doing all the dirty work. Even after everything is said and done.
I know he doesn’t get many days off from life and nor do I. I always feel like on my days off from everything I’m still stuck doing all the little things around the house because if I didn’t do them, they wouldn’t get done. Or I have things I have to get done around town or I have to go to EC (my hometown) for something. Always something. Never time down.
For once I want him to be like; don’t worry. I know he tells me “Go have fun. Do something you want to do. Shop. Or something like that.” I don’t want to shop for useless things. And on top of that, I don’t want to waste our money on stuff for me. I feel bad when I do that or I would never hear the end of it because we both know in the end I would get told I didn’t need to waste our money for stupid shit. I don’t have friends to hang out with. He knows I will stay here and get the necessary things done. I hope I’m right about he doesn’t realize I feel this way. I’m almost sure of it.
I’m not mad or upset because he has friends or on his time off he hangs out or does what he wants. I just want him to offer to help me out or offer to take his time to do what I have to do. It would be nice to just step back and truly breathe.
I’m kind of jealous of his life sometimes. . .he has so much going for him. I’m jealous because he is busy with important stuff. I’m stuck with the simple stuff. . .like working fast food and cleaning house. I hate my life sometimes. I do like the fact I have a nice place to live, I have a boyfriend that loves me but that’s it. That’s about the end of what I like about it. This upsets me.
I’m embarrassed to say what I do for a living. I’m embarrassed about all of it. I’m not important. . . Just jealous. . .I feel so. . .down.
Everyone has something to hide
I got this idea from one of my friends on her myspace profile. You type a little info about how you feel about someone. You don’t put names and you let them guess, who is who. I like the idea. I think it kind of helps me. 🙂 Most likely half the people that these are about won’t even read it but that’s okay. It’s still there if they do decide to be apart of my life again.
- We are so many miles a part. I just wish I was their for you as much as you have been for me.
- I don’t understand you. I never have. You was one of my first loves. I just wish you didn’t look down apon me so.
- I will always love you. I wish sometimes we didn’t live so far apart and we could have got a long.
- Simply put, I miss your friendship. You was one of the people that loved me for me. I need you again.
- I know we don’t talk very often. I think about you just about every other day. You need to get on a bus and come and see me. . .NOW.
- It wasn’t all bad, was it?
- I don’t think I have ever or ever will again love someone like I love you. I don’t want to fight anymore. And I hope what you hope, let it not be right now. Please not now. . .later is fine. . .but not now.
Such jealousy
I was upset about a week ago over an act that Cj done to me. I wanted to let it go but it still kind of bothers me. He read my myspace messages. Well, really it was only one. And that one was to my ex-husband. We (as me and my ex-husband) both promised to stay friends if we ever go divorced and now that we are we still talk on the phone about once a month and now we email about that often. Nothing big, just to check on each other.
I don’t understand this jealousy thing he has over me. I have never had that before. Everyone I have ever been with has never acted like that before until now. I understand that he is scared of losing me but like I told him. He doesn’t have anything to worry about. I want to understand.
I want to forget it happen. He told me “He understood if I left or wanted him to move out or whatever”. But I love him very much and he said he wouldn’t do it again. I want to believe him. I want to be like “Okay”. But for some reason I say I’m okay and I have went on and I have forgave him for this act but still I let it sit in the back of my mind. Nothing like it is going to sit there and then I just blow up one day. Nothing even like that. I just think about it from time to time. I almost don’t want to leave my account on my computer open. He doesn’t have my passwords but on the other hand; I don’t have anything to hide. I didn’t care that he read it. I just wanted him to ask first. I don’t have anything to hide from anyone, let a lone him.
I find it useless to hide anything. It just causes problems but I feel like he hides things from me. He might not but I still can’t help to fill that way. Maybe it’s because I don’t hide anything and I feel like everyone has something to hide. Oh, well, I know. . .well, hope if he is that he will tell me and not keep it from me ever. He says he feels that everyone has secrets. Maybe he is right. . .