Black Out, Realize and Love Is In The Air, Fuckers

“Sex is like air, it isn’t important until you aren’t getting any.” –Unknown

WOW!! 😀 I am so happy with all the comments made. Thank you all for them. I never get that many! I feel so loved.

Chris and I are doing so good right now…I mean as good as we can for the facts that has happen in the past. He keeps bring up the Tony thing. I know it hurts him and I don’t really thinks he realizes deep down it hurts me too. Yes, I will say this. I am human and I do make mistakes just like the next person yet for some reason I have to be some goddess. I know he doesn’t realize that he expects this of me but he does and it kind of hurts my feelings in away. I most of the time try for it not to get to me. I love Chris so much and I don’t want anything bad to happen to us.

Moving in with him was such a big step and I’m so scared I will fuck it up some how. I love to be with him. I love everything about him. And sometimes I don’t know what to think about him. I just want to step back and just go damn….any girl would be lucky to have someone like him. He is so good to me. I get told all the time that I’m lucky to have someone like that. And I do feel lucky to have him. I feel SO damn lucky. 🙂

I have had such a hard time in the past four years at high school. I went through a really bad depression for the first two years of high school. Then I dated Valarie for almost 2 years (10th and 11th grade). Which was so hard on me, for us. Because we was the only open same sex relationship. I fought cutting myself and everything else.

So, being with someone that loves me for me and only wants to be with me. Has made me feel like almost like I don’t deserve someone like him. He is sitting in the living room watching a movie right now and I can’t help but look at him and realize so much. Realize that I do love him and I do want to be with him and only him. It’s a great feeling. 😀 I guess I sound like a little kid in puppy love.

I don’t know sometimes….I have always believed that Life is like licking honey off a thorn bush. I keep expecting something bad to happen. Like it always does. Because everything seems to good right now. Everything!! And I don’t know what to expect. 😐 I guess I need to shut the fuck up now. LMAO

Today at school there was a black out for about an hour it came back on twice and then shortly after it went off again. It finally stayed on the third time it came on. I hate the dark. But any who….

I will try to update again soon. I should have the net in my our room but this weekend sometime.

Ronda and Tony are coming in this weekend and Ronda is staying in this time. Tony will be on the road my himself. I’m glad Ronda is staying in this time. I love being around her. She is my mommy away from my mommy. LMAO

later taternuts