You Will Some Day

November 7

“I had always heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes the second before you die. Only that one second, isn’t a second at all, it seems to stretch out forever like an ocean of time. For me it was lying on my back at boy scout camp, watching falling stars. And the maple trees that line our street. Or my grandmother’s hands, and how her skin seemed like paper. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to be angry when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and I can’t take it. My heart swells up like a balloon that’s about to burst. But then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then, it flows through me like rain and I feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry. You will someday.” –American Beauty

Yet again I am in the computer lab at school and should be working yet don’t want too. LOL I guess I am a lazy bum. šŸ™‚ Good!!

I don’t know what I should feel right now. In one way I want to scream at the top of my lungs and just….just….I don’t know die…it seems!

I keep telling everyone that I’m okay, well the people that actually have noticed that something was wrong with me. Most people haven’t noticed. Which I am thankful for. It makes me mad to have people always asking me ‘what’s wrong?’

I guess I’m odd like that. Chris had someone give him a letter today that they “found” in the halls. It was from Kitten to me. Yeah…..So….now Chris is almost in a nervous break down. I think he freaked out over nothing. I mean…you know what? I’m going to keep my mouth shut now.

Chris is coming home with me today. I think he is spending the weekend at my house. Or longer…I don’t know. I guess I really should ask him. Anyway….I’m guess I will go…. šŸ˜•

Later Tater

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