So many questions

Daily life
05/12/2010

Today you said you was leaving. . .or you might be. I wish I was mad at you for this but I’m not. I’m not angry nor do I hate you. I wish I was angry. That way it didn’t hurt so bad. I want you happy. I feel lost, like I don’t know what to do. I feel scared like I child. I feel. . .to much right now.

I have been crying, sleeping being depressed. I don’t know what else to do or how to deal with this feeling. I wish I was back on my depression medication maybe I could handle this better. When was talking this morning, I wasn’t yelling nor was you. Which was nice to sit down and talk without each other being mad or yelling. I have so many questions but no answers and the questions I feel like I can’t even put into words to get an answer. Most likely you really don’t have an answer anyway or if you do I most likely won’t want to hear it. It will be so over whelming, I mean, it is already. I cry because I don’t know what else to do. That’s crazy. Silly.

I know crying doesn’t solve anything but that’s all I can bring myself to do.