I am a better person because you weren’t

Tonight the ex sent me a thank you text message for returning the last of his stuff to him. (It’s only been over a year since we broke up.) I bagged it up and gave it to his father. What I really wanted to do with it, was burn it and leave the ashes on his door step like he did mine during our first break up but I am a believer in karma. So, I did the right thing.

Does it still make me a bad person for thinking that? Or wanting to do that still?

He will remain a piece of shit for what he did to me. He left me used and broken. Tried to play me for a fool and I still was going to give him another chance. Something was wrong with me. . .and I see now what it was. He had me thinking I couldn’t live without him. His mistake. I could. I had a life before him and I will have a life after him.

I told someone the other day. Him cheating and leaving was the best thing he ever did for me. Why? Because it taught me that I can survive heartache like that. It taught me watch my step and don’t just give my heart away so easily. It changed me into a better person. It taught me more then I could ever put into words. And if he hadn’t left me. I would have never found Kyle.

Kyle is the most amazing, perfect other half if their ever was one. He has made me whole again and without him I would truly be lost. I am thankful everyday for him. I wouldn’t trade my past for anything. If I changed one thing, I wouldn’t be going to sleep every night in the arms of the man I love.

So, thank you Cody. Thank you for being a piece of shit and doing what you did. I truly mean that. I am grateful now for it. I am a better person because you weren’t.

I realized

I have realized a lot here lately. I realized that I am a very pushy person. I normally have to have it my way or no way. And I realize that that does make me sound like a bitch and most of the time I am. I like to have things my way, I like to do the things I enjoy and I like to have the things I want.

But also I realized I have changed so much since I have started dating Kyle. I realize I give in way more easily now. It’s not a fight if something doesn’t work out or I don’t get what I wanted it’s okay. It’s not a fight it’s not a hassle. I’m okay with that. I am happy with that.

Before I would have fought for days over it now. . .it doesn’t even matter. He is more important. Getting a long is all the happy I need.

Just a random moment of thoughts.

Saturday 9: My Best Friend’s Girl

1. Have you and a friend ever have an argument because you were attracted to the same person? I think so in high school but that has been many years ago.

2. Who never returns your phone calls? Here lately my mother. Other wise, I most likely it’s me not returning them. oops.

3. What was your favorite childhood toy? Seems silly now but I use to go outside and play cooking. Find old pots and pans, spoons, and jars. And act like I was on a cooking show.

4. Who is the last person you greeted at your door? My brother, Stacy and their son Chance.

5. Would you change anything about your life right now? HELL NO! I am happier then I have ever been.

6. Who is the easiest person for you to talk to? Either muh Cammie or Kyle. It is a toss up.

7. If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose? Good question, I have no clue. Maybe, umm. . .during the times of Egyptians. I want to know how the pyramids was made.

8. What is the most exciting event you’ve ever witnessed? I have no clue. Maybe Ozzfest 2004. I guess.

9. What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child? In 20s. I find it a good age to be able to enjoy having a child but still young enough to be a child yourself with them.

Saturday 9