Keith

Maybe I am

Maybe I am doing something right. Finally it seems Keith and I have reached a standing point, a meeting ground. I hope so. We sat on the bad thoughts (leaving each other) and we sat on the good ones :love: for a few days before talking about it. I really think we have worked something out. I truly hope so. It feels like it has.

I can see it in his eyes that he truly wants us to be okay and be happy together. I can see he really is going to try this time. It makes me smile. 🙂 I know how much I want us to be okay :heart: but it takes two.

Good News: I finally made it to management. I start my training next week. This means better pay. I will make $6.75 not $6. This is going to help Keith and me so much. I’m really going to start saving money. I have too. I’m opening up my own account so I can keep track of my design money and my money I’m not paying on bills. :cheery: I’m proud of myself. It takes really hard work to move up. Most people will never understand how hard fast food is. It’s not easy to smile and hand really rude people their food. Knowing that that person was so rude to your crew.

Where did I go wrong?

Keith and I had another big fight today. That’s right another. Most people think we are this happy couple that get along great. We don’t. We are always fighting about something. We work together so that makes it even worse. We never had anytime to ourselves. We ALWAYS have someone over or have something to do. Which makes it impossible to really get anything done or to really spend time with each other. The time we really need.

I love my husband more than anything in this world. I truly believe that I would go crazy without yet both of us are miserable most of the time. I don’t know what to do anymore. We have been fighting like this for the past year. It just seems to get worse. Keith has a very bad temper. He has always had it but never showed it to me until these last few months. He scares me so bad. I’m not sure what he will do. I mean I know he would never hit me or anything but far as yelling at me and stuff like that. He does it all the time over silly things that really don’t matter to either of us. Things in 20 minutes let alone the rest of our lives that just don’t matter. I don’t get that. Why we fight over silly things. I know they are silly yet I hate being talked to like that.

I feel like cry just about all the time or if not crying trying to find outlets. I’m always work. I’m always stressed and never sleep. I feel sick all the time and yet I push on. I have to push on because I know if I don’t know one else will.

Keith and I fight over house stuff a lot or what he wants to buy. He wants to buy guns. I want to save up for a house/land. I want him to help with the house work. He WON’T. I work 35+ hours a week and then come home and clean for another 1+ hours a night. Plus I have to do web design work just about every night; that’s another 2+ hours, just right there. He works 25+ hours a week and comes home to watch TV/play on his computer. I have to beg him to help me and when he finally does it takes him around a week to do anything.

I just don’t understand. I work so hard for us to have a life together and I know he does too and here we are throwing it all away over silly things. Crazy. How dumb can we be?

Finally something being done

Like the title says, I’ve finally started doing something to this site because I’m great like that. I have put up a new layout, upgraded my guestbook to BellaBook 3.1. I need to make a new layout for it but I want to get a few more things done around here first. I have downloads I want to add (fonts, scripts, icons) first. I want to work on re-writing my page about me, working on the domain page and my soul mates page. I want to start that tomorrow. Crossing my fingers on getting it done.

Someone asked me if I wrote the song from the last entry. No, I wished I did. 😆 But nope, someone else did. I just really loved the song so much I wanted to post the lyrics. I jumped up and down when Keith played it for me. I :heart: hippos!

I left Jem a comment saying that I would plug tutorialtastic today because she plans on updating most of the site. 🙂 So, I’m pluging it. That’s also why it’s being plugged at the top of my entry. Like that girl needs more hits.

I’m so glad I’m off Friday (today) and Saturday. I need them. I have been so tired. I feel like I have been going and going. I am so getting some much needed R & R and web design counts as R & R. You can’t make me think other wise.

Google is my friend

Friday Five I thought I should post about what I have been doing for the past week. Work, playing Mario VS Donkey Kong and playing with my new phone. I also have been working on a few of my pages and a new layout. I hope to have it up after this entry. It still has a lot of work but I want to put up something new. 😉 I’m getting tired of using light colors. I’m in the mood for something a littler darker. I keep also trying to find out how to edit my LJ layouts the way I want them. Maybe I need to search google. Google is my friend. 🙂

Like always I wanted to do the Friday Five. I love doing these but I never to seem to really update on Fridays. Well, I am now.

  • 1.) Do you believe in God or a higher power? Yes.
  • 2.) Are good and evil just concepts, or real powers in the universe? Yes.
  • 3.) What is your view on forgiveness? Forgive and forget. . .sometimes.
  • 4.) Do organized religions do more harm than good? Depends.
  • 5.) If you had a day to spend playing God, what would you do? Clean up the world. No more war, no more hate, no more sickness, no more hungry children/anyone. Just happy moments for everyone.

I was suppose to be off tomorrow (friday. . .today for some, tomorrow for me) but yet again I open my month and said I would work it. I’m only working 5pm to 8pm. Nothing to bad. Just three hours. I can handle that. 🙂

Keith should be getting back soon from picking Nathan up from work. Then when he gets back Keith and I have to finish watching a movie.

Who’s a dork?

Work is going to get a lot worse. We start staying open to 1am not the normal 12am. We (which means me) will have to go in at the same time but will won’t be leaving until at least 2am or later. Normally I don’t get out of work until 1am anyway. :yuck: This sucks so bad. I’m not sure when this is suppose to start happening but it is for sure happening.

My caned diced peaches and pears I’m eating for breakfast don’t have a very good taste to them. I love them normally but today they taste. . .odd. It could be because I just woke up not to long ago and I’m drinking Yoo-Hoo. Don’t give me that look. Yoo-Hoo is good.

I think I shall kill all of the spam bots. I had 8 comments I had to delete today already and my guestbook has so many it’s not even funny. Stupid Simpbook. I’m fixing to change over to BellaBook. You can add smilies and have gravatars. I’m looking forward to adding that. Have it look all neat and stuff. 🙂 I love coding.