puzzle piece

Babbling on again it seems

I haven’t been doing much. I have felt really bad all day. I am trying to think positive. . .or at least keep a positive out look. I am so tired of work and I’m so tired with everything. I really want everything to be like it was in May. . .it seemed simple then. I didn’t have anything but work, Cookie and life to look forward too.

It’s not that I don’t want the things I have now in my life like CJ and all but I stay so stressed out all the time. I’m not even sure on what. I like to think it’s work. I stress out about everything. Even the little things that won’t matter in a few hours, let alone in a few years. I have a bad habit of taking that out on CJ. I hate that. I get stressed and I don’t know how to handle myself and I snap at him for no reason or what I would find funny normally I would just cry over. I know he doesn’t know how to handle me, hell, I don’t know how to handle me. I truly don’t want to lose him over something silly, I don’t want to lose him at all. I don’t think I will but I do get scared at times.

I’m scared. . .very simply put. I wish I was the big girl I use to be but he makes me weak. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I like to think both at times. I wish I knew where I was going with this whole blog entry but I have no clue. Just another babbling entry, I guess.

On to randomness. . .

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Scrabble :: Spelling
  2. NyQuil :: Sleepy Time
  3. Roadtrip :: Because it’s your dog.
  4. Idiot :: Work
  5. Bandages :: Dr. office
  6. Series :: Shows
  7. Summer :: Break
  8. Prompt :: Action
  9. September :: Birthdays
  10. Chicken :: Me
  11. Thanks to: Unconscious Mutterings

Friday Five:

  • What’s something you suspect you regularly overpay for? Gas!
  • What’s something you suspect you regularly underpay for? Food.
  • What’s taking up more of your time than it should? Work and house work.
  • What’s causing you stress only because you let it? Work. I am really bad about stressing.
  • If all your karma were based on your positive and negative attitudes, would it be in good shape, in bad shape, or perfectly in balance? I would like to think balance but I’m not totally sure. Most likely in the middle. lol
  • Thanks to: Friday5.Org

Finally finishing

I am finally finishing up the packing and tomorrow is the big day. OMG! I can’t believe I will be moving again. You know how bad that sucks. I hate moving but I love the fact that I will have two other room mates. One being my boyfriend.

So much has happen in the last few mouths. I wish I new how to put into words how I feel about everything. I can’t. I don’t think I will be able too.

I will be starting back at a new Wendy’s next week. I am so scared about it. The store is a little bigger then the one that I can from. I am just worried. I know it will be easier coming in as a boss and not as crew then boss. I hope I can be as good as I was. I was only out of work a mouth. Nothing big. lol

I hope me working 40 hours a week and CJ going to school/working/being in a play will work out. I don’t want to lose him. I am so happy again. I know this move is big but not really. I just worry that we won’t see each other like we do now. I know I will have to work a lot of odd hours but over all I will have enough money to put back to get a nice car and get some well needed stuff for me. I need some new pants really bad. I truly just want to have some money to get what I want with out worrying so much all the damn time.

Well, this will be my last post for a few. I’m updating from CJ’s computer since my net has already been turned off. I’m sure he will let me get on here to update. 🙂

This is why I’m hot

I’m like four hundred degrees right now. My house is so hot. I can’t get cool. WHY!?!? I’m so tired. Not sure where the tired is coming from but it is so there. I believe it’s the heat doing it. Heat seems to just take it out of me.

I was suppose to move this weekend but our room mate didn’t get his stuff together in time and now I can’t move until the 3rd. I am so upset. I hope everything will work out.

Friday 5 & Unconscious Mutterings

  • If you get the first choice of Monopoly tokens, which do you choose? If someone else chooses it first, which is your second choice? First, boat. Second, always boat.
  • What’s a board game you are especially bad at? New Monopoly.
  • What board game are you particularly good at? Life.
  • How competitive do you get while playing board games or party games? I always say I’m not going to get mad but I always lose.
  • What’s your favorite board game? What’s a board game you can’t stand? I love Monopoly or Life. I really don’t hate any games.
  • Thanks to: Friday5.Org

I’m having to much fun with random stuff today. I think I need to get some more sleep.

  1. Riding :: Cars
  2. Actress :: Angelina Jolie
  3. Flowers :: Roses
  4. Making :: Cakes
  5. Robot :: Chicken
  6. Enjoy :: Time with people I love
  7. Identify :: Problem
  8. 22 :: days later
  9. Busy :: as a bee
  10. Forward :: emails
  11. Thanks to: Unconscious Mutterings

D-Day

Well, I’m finally divorced. It was final today. I remember after I signed all the paper work I was so happy. Now, I’m not sure what I feel. I know that I still don’t want to be with him but I also know that I still care about him very much. I wish him nothing but happiness for him.

I have so much still going on in my life. I still don’t have a job. I will be watching my nieces this week to make a little money. Then I’m not totally sure if I’m still moving or not. I think I might be moving in to BG. I just don’t know what to do.

I not sure what I need to do. If I move to BG my parents are going to kill me. I don’t need them to approve of my life, but I do like the idea of them being a part of it. I don’t really care if they like what I’m doing or not. My mom just keeps telling me that I need to just worry about what’s going on with me. And what is going to make me happy. Well, Cj does make me happy. He makes me feel so good again. It’s nice having that. :heart:

I want him in my life. I want him with me. I don’t think I could keep living here in Glasgow if he wasn’t here. It was going to make it really hard on us as a couple if we didn’t figure something out. I’m not totally sure if this is the best idea but I know I don’t want him dropping out of school or anything. I want him to follow his dreams.

Some many questions and not enough answers. Like always.