puzzle piece

Aside

A way of life

I love web design. I love anything and everything to do with it. I design for hours, just to not use the design, all because I love to code. I dream in CSS sometimes. I can read it for hours. Learning new stuff to do or I look at someone else’s design and try to re-create it. I feel like such a geek and that I am the only one that does this. Am I crazy? Most likely. Is it something I have been doing for over or right at 10 years now, yes. I love it all. I don’t know what I would be doing with myself if I wasn’t doing web design.

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5 Best Decisions

So around the internet today I have seen multiple people do posts about the 5 best decisions they have made in their lives and I thought I would do the same. These are not in any real order. Just what has come to mind first.

  1. Being a home owner: In 2009 I decided to stop renting a one bedroom apartment for $465 a month to buying a trailer and moving back to my home town about 30 miles away. I believe I made a good choice. I had lost my job and was on unemployment and was able to get a trailer for a really good deal. It’s a 2 bedroom 14’x60′. It isn’t much I joke but it is paid for and for right now it is home. I don’t plan on living here for ever but it works nicely until I save more money to buy a house.
  2. Learning web design: When I was barely a teenager I decided I loved the world of internet and web design. I started out on the wonderful world of Expages. Then moved to a free host, tried to find a real host with a domain. I found Pick-Me. Doing so, I found a host and a life long friend that I could NEVER see myself without. I found my Cammie. She is my other-other half. I really do love that girl. What we do for BFFs.
  3. Going to College: When I decided I was going to college, I was still in a pretty bad relationship and I knew I couldn’t depend on someone else helping me out in life. I decided I would go for something I loved: web design. I am still going and I do love it. Even if it is kicking my ass right now because of work. I’m looking forward in proving everyone that I can do this.
  4. Kyle: I know a person isn’t a decision but a relationship is. I had just started school. Been kind of dating off and on but hadn’t been seeing anyone in a few months when I met Kyle. We had a few classes together and I started to get to know him during that time. In October of 2010 we started dating. I haven’t looked back since. He is an amazing person and I truly know now why it hasn’t worked with any other person. He is my strength when I am weak. We aren’t perfect but I don’t think we could get any closer. We are engaged and set a date for October 11, 2012 (10.11.12).
  5. Caroline & Meadow: When I was 13 my mom and dad got my brother’s kids. They were 2 years old and 6 months old. I choose to help raise them. I didn’t have to give up my afternoons or weekends but I did. I still do so much for them. I think about them before I would think about myself. I don’t have children and I don’t know if I even can but I know that the gods put them two kids in my life for a reason and I love every minute I have with them. They have helped me grow in to a well-rounded person and helped me become someone that they can look-up too. They made me grow up a little to fast but we grew up together. I was a child stepping in to the shoes that I didn’t have too. But when family needs you, you do what you have to do. My mother couldn’t have taken them if I hadn’t stepped up.
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I am a better person because you weren’t

Tonight the ex sent me a thank you text message for returning the last of his stuff to him. (It’s only been over a year since we broke up.) I bagged it up and gave it to his father. What I really wanted to do with it, was burn it and leave the ashes on his door step like he did mine during our first break up but I am a believer in karma. So, I did the right thing.

Does it still make me a bad person for thinking that? Or wanting to do that still?

He will remain a piece of shit for what he did to me. He left me used and broken. Tried to play me for a fool and I still was going to give him another chance. Something was wrong with me. . .and I see now what it was. He had me thinking I couldn’t live without him. His mistake. I could. I had a life before him and I will have a life after him.

I told someone the other day. Him cheating and leaving was the best thing he ever did for me. Why? Because it taught me that I can survive heartache like that. It taught me watch my step and don’t just give my heart away so easily. It changed me into a better person. It taught me more then I could ever put into words. And if he hadn’t left me. I would have never found Kyle.

Kyle is the most amazing, perfect other half if their ever was one. He has made me whole again and without him I would truly be lost. I am thankful everyday for him. I wouldn’t trade my past for anything. If I changed one thing, I wouldn’t be going to sleep every night in the arms of the man I love.

So, thank you Cody. Thank you for being a piece of shit and doing what you did. I truly mean that. I am grateful now for it. I am a better person because you weren’t.