Monday I found out I have cervical dysplasia, which if you don’t know is pre-cancerous cells on my cervix. Which means, if I don’t get it taken care of it will turn in to cancer. I’m scared to death.

I haven’t told but a handful of people, my family, Kyle’s family and my bestie. I don’t even know how to act or feel. I mean, it could be a whole lot worse but then again it could be better as well. I don’t even know. I want to tell myself this is all okay.

But I am scared of the treatment. Of scar tissue on my cervix and how hard it will be to get pregnant later down the road.

The treatment for this is called LEEP (loop electrosurgical excision procedure) and how it works is an electrically charged loop made of thin wire is inserted through the speculum and up to the cervix. As the loop is passed across the cervix, it cuts away a thin layer of surface tissue, removing the abnormal cells. This tissue will be later tested for cancer or abnormal cells. Finally, a medicated paste is applied to the area to prevent bleeding.

I am looking so forward to this. But whatever the case maybe, I have to have it done. Bottom line, I’m scared.