Never the same

May 11

Things never seem to stay the same. I am still talking to Todd, still sleeping with him and all. He called his g/f up a few nights ago and dropped her. She said she is done with him. This is very good for me. . .I guess. I mean I did win, but at what cost? :sneer: It doesn’t feel like I won.

Rainbow & Todd I don’t know what to really do. I think I am falling for this man. He is so easy to fall for. I hate to say that, I hate to think it, I hate to type it. I enjoy everything about him and don’t get me wrong, the sex is so good. :devil: I’m not totally sure what the hell is going on.

I want to know. I truly do but I kind of talked about it the other night with him but yet again I was drinking a little and kind of don’t remember what was said. I pretty sure I told him how I felt about everything and that I was hurt about it. I wanted to be with him and be the only one but that didn’t mean marriage or anything, you know. I mean, hell, I’m still in a middle of a divorce. ( Which will be final June 18 :yay: ) But anyway.

I think we are kind of a thing now for sure. He has been over here every night this week. I have been loving it. I just wish I understood better. He is ex-girlfriend has been emailing me and talking to me on myspace IM and I’m being very nice and I just keep telling her Todd and I are only friends. This is very hard for me. I DON’T lie to no one. I don’t care who you are. I just don’t lie. I hate it. I don’t ask much out of people but that is one of them. I can’t stand it when someone lies to me. Just don’t lie and we will be good. ๐Ÿ™‚ Ok. lol

I wish I could post all these on my site without the password but since my divorce still isn’t final I really can’t talk about me being with someone else. Keith’s family would DIE. That’s all their is to it. Just DIE! lol My family knows and what not. They don’t mind to much.

I’m off for now. I believe I might make a public entry as well. And thank you for all the help guys. ๐Ÿ™‚ It does mean a lot.

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