Silly, Silly, Silly

March 16

I love him. Simply put. Nothing more, nothing less. I have been trying. Really trying. I don’t understand. I know what I did was wrong. I feel like I have made up for my actions. I have tried on so many levels to fix every little mistake.

We have moments that are unbelievable. So perfect. Then we have moments like tonight on the phone. He feels like I have a tone. The tone says things I did not. Even when I truly don’t have a problem. I do says the tone. In all reality. Nothing was wrong. I said what I meant. I said how I felt. God dang! Hello?

He finds ways to fight with me sometimes. I don’t understand. I love him. I just want us to be okay. I want everything to play out correctly. For once. Not a happy ending but just a “my world is not crashing” ending. I just want to be content. I’m not looking for a happy moment, every moment of every day. I just want to be content.

I get that when he is in a good mood. I get to be content sometimes. When he deems it so. It has been his way or no way for months now. Since I started trying to be back with him. Which is okay. If he wants it that way. But god dang. When is enough, enough. How much do I have to do or take to make it “even”?

I’m not even sure of this blog entry. I am just upset over a stupid phone call. It was nothing. I promise, promised that I was okay. Which I am. I am okay. I am just upset too. I’m not mad. I just think it is totally silly. I mean, really.

I guess I need to go a head and get my shower. Get my clothes together. I have a job interview tomorrow at 11am. Then work at 12pm.

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