drama queen

Why hello there

I have missed you my wonderful blog. I have been so busy with life I almost forget that I have a blog or any projects I have. I need to take down everything and just not do it at all. I hate half assing anything. BTW, is half-assing a word? Firefox says assing is not. Hmmm. . . 😮 Also, if you wanted to know I added half-assing to my dictionary in Firefox. Just saying.

We got our school money today. All I can think about is how I want to pay one debit off with another. Which most of our money is grants, we have taken out a couple of loans. We got a large amount, which we was going to use as a down payment on a house, but since we need to work on our credit score and job history we will have to wait a little longer. But never the less we do have the money right now to pay off all of Kyle’s debit and improve his score and at least bring mine up some.

If you know me in real life or have been reading my blog for a while, you would realize I hate to wait for anything, so this whole waiting game of improving scores is killing me, but I know it will all work out.

Far as my entry about the ex, Faith you are totally right, he is trying to be very manipulative. He always has been and always will be. He wanted to pull me in and it’s not happening. For once in my life, I can rise above him and walk away and be okay with that.

I always wonder what people are doing in there lives once I’m not part of it anymore. I realize this is kind of dumb because I know the world doesn’t stop if I’m not in it but it’s fun to pretend that it does. lol 😀 It’s okay to have a big ego. . .sometimes. . .

It’s cool I wake up this awesome!! :love:

Terrible blogger

I am a terrible blogger. I have been wanting to update, but it seems life always gets in the way. I just started another semester of school, still working and we had been trying to find a place to move but at last the house loan didn’t come through like we needed, so we are stuck here for a few more months but I made myself this promise. We will be in a house by next year at this time.

I have had so much I wanted to blog about, like ex boyfriend Cody texting me for the first time in forever or the fact that like I stated we was looking at houses to buy, or school starting. . .just really over all boring stuff.

Far as Cody texting me. He started the first text off with “Since you are still friends with my whole family we should be too” and then preceded to tell me that he “always promised to tell me if he ever got deployed“. Well, it’s a little late to start keeping promises now, don’t you think asshole!?! I’m just stating facts. You also promised to “always love me”, to “always be there for me” or and lets not forget “promised to marry me”. Did you keep any of those promises? Hell no!! Ahhh, what an asshole!!!! That’s all I got. What kind of nerve do you have to text me after all this time? I texted a few little things back but after I did I felt dirty and used and almost heartbroken all over again. . .why? I’m not sure or maybe I felt more sorry for him or whatever the case maybe. He tired texting me a week or so later but it was only one message stating “Well, Jenn I finally got my first tattoo.” I didn’t even bother responding. I’m not even going to again. I don’t like the feelings he brings up inside of me when he contacts me. I feel so much angry still and just plan sorry for him. I have decided when and I say when / if, but he has been the one to contact me every time since I decided I was no longer going to contact him back when me and Kyle got together, but like I said it isn’t if. . .it’s when he contacts me again I am going to send him this:

Error: Your message could not be sent. The Ex you’re trying to reach has moved on. Error number: 3 years wasted!

I think it will get the point across. He made comments when we first broke up if he got deployed could he still write me like he did in basic. I told him then why not write your whore you left me for. I mean, if she was worth losing / leaving me over, write her. I’m not going to waste my time on you. He seemed hurt by this statement at the time but it’s how I feel. I’m not hiding any feelings from him now. I have no reason too. Oh god he won’t talk to me again. Thank god!! I couldn’t get so lucky.

Anyway, on a better note I got another client site to do. I have two clients right now but one hasn’t got back with me since they paid. Weird, and the other one I just started. At least they are paying jobs. I love the fact I get to work on different kinds of projects that I normally wouldn’t do for myself. You know?

Aside

Truly struggling

I have been wanting to blog for a few days but just haven’t had the time really. I just finished another semester of school. I believe I only have two more to go. I am still working but I did drop down to four days a week just because I wanted more time.

I am truly struggling with working, school and life. I don’t know how people manger to do it all plus be social or whatever else they want to do. I am terrible about balancing time. I don’t think it’s because I’m bad about losing time but I feel like I have no time to balance. I go to school from 12 – 3:40pm, I work 4 – 11:30pm. I also live a 45 minutes to an hour away. So I am gone most days for around 13 hours or more if I decide to go grocery shopping after work (thank the gods for Wal-Mart and Kroger 24-hours). I also have to find time to do homework, sleep, cook/eat, spend time with my husband and take care of house/animals. I have to say I do have a pretty amazing husband. He works also and goes to school. Most weeks are days off do not line up so we take turns with the house duties and the animals. We try to at least talk before bed and during our driving times. Text messaging is also our best friend.

I am very lucky to have a husband that does whatever that needs to be done around the house and he would must rather do it then wait and let me do it most of the time. I can’t thank him enough for all the support he gives me. I am less stressed now than I have been in the past doing just school or just work. He makes it all okay.

But I do find that my social life has taken a hit. My closest friends I never get to talk to just because our days off, or times we work or whatever doesn’t line up. I miss my friends. I have been trying to text or call to keep in touch but I am terrible about it. I am just so tired I would rather sleep than shower most nights. But I am enjoying my couple of weeks between semesters. I am going to enjoy the shit out of it. 😀

I hope to get a few projects done during that time. Blog more and spend time with my husband. :* Well, I do believe I am going to enjoy the dinner I cooked and watch some TV with the hubby!

Aside

5 Best Decisions

So around the internet today I have seen multiple people do posts about the 5 best decisions they have made in their lives and I thought I would do the same. These are not in any real order. Just what has come to mind first.

  1. Being a home owner: In 2009 I decided to stop renting a one bedroom apartment for $465 a month to buying a trailer and moving back to my home town about 30 miles away. I believe I made a good choice. I had lost my job and was on unemployment and was able to get a trailer for a really good deal. It’s a 2 bedroom 14’x60′. It isn’t much I joke but it is paid for and for right now it is home. I don’t plan on living here for ever but it works nicely until I save more money to buy a house.
  2. Learning web design: When I was barely a teenager I decided I loved the world of internet and web design. I started out on the wonderful world of Expages. Then moved to a free host, tried to find a real host with a domain. I found Pick-Me. Doing so, I found a host and a life long friend that I could NEVER see myself without. I found my Cammie. She is my other-other half. I really do love that girl. What we do for BFFs.
  3. Going to College: When I decided I was going to college, I was still in a pretty bad relationship and I knew I couldn’t depend on someone else helping me out in life. I decided I would go for something I loved: web design. I am still going and I do love it. Even if it is kicking my ass right now because of work. I’m looking forward in proving everyone that I can do this.
  4. Kyle: I know a person isn’t a decision but a relationship is. I had just started school. Been kind of dating off and on but hadn’t been seeing anyone in a few months when I met Kyle. We had a few classes together and I started to get to know him during that time. In October of 2010 we started dating. I haven’t looked back since. He is an amazing person and I truly know now why it hasn’t worked with any other person. He is my strength when I am weak. We aren’t perfect but I don’t think we could get any closer. We are engaged and set a date for October 11, 2012 (10.11.12).
  5. Caroline & Meadow: When I was 13 my mom and dad got my brother’s kids. They were 2 years old and 6 months old. I choose to help raise them. I didn’t have to give up my afternoons or weekends but I did. I still do so much for them. I think about them before I would think about myself. I don’t have children and I don’t know if I even can but I know that the gods put them two kids in my life for a reason and I love every minute I have with them. They have helped me grow in to a well-rounded person and helped me become someone that they can look-up too. They made me grow up a little to fast but we grew up together. I was a child stepping in to the shoes that I didn’t have too. But when family needs you, you do what you have to do. My mother couldn’t have taken them if I hadn’t stepped up.