Aside

2010 summed up

This year has been full of all kinds of emotion; happy, sad, overwhelming, depressed and a lot more. Full of ups and downs. At the start of the year I was suppose to get married to a military man someone I had dated for almost three years, turned out he cheated on me and left me two weeks before the wedding. Which has turned out to be one of the best things that could happen to me. At the end of May this all happen but great things followed.

In May my bff Cammie got to spend a fun filled three day weekend. I dated here and there over the summer but nothing came of it. I had a fun vacation with the family, started college in August then in October I went and spent a week with muh Cammie and then when I got back I started dating Kyle.

I finished my first semester of college with a 3.0, Kyle and I are still together. We are moving in together and we are so happy. I couldn’t think of a better way to end the year.

Yes, 2010 started out bad but I couldn’t think of a better way to end it. I’m completely happy and in love. Life couldn’t be better right now.

Aside

Some long nights

I promised blog entries. So, here is one.

I have been so confused and lost at points in the last few weeks. I have been happy and overwhelmed. I have been sad and depressed. Thought I couldn’t go any lower. Then I have been able to look, reflect and try to study why I am where I am.

I don’t have answers still to why Cody did what he did to me. Why they was more important and I was tossed to the side. Maybe with time I can get answers. But now he says he wants to work on friendship. It has been easier with time to be able to at least speak with him on the phone.

I don’t know if I am ready for a face to face meet up yet with him but with time I am sure I will be. With time, it heals all. Each day gets easier. . .let me rephrase that. Most days now are easier. I still have some long nights and short days it feels like. The nights seem to be when I miss him the most. Nights are so lonely.

I still hurt and I still don’t understand. I feel like I wasn’t go enough. But I read a quote and it seems to make it a little easier.

You can love someone and still be wrong for them.

I feel like that is the case right now because Cody is a really nice guy when he isn’t with me. And I like to think I am pretty awesome. 🙂 But when we are together, we seem to bring out the evil. Like we are a bad set of wonder twins.

I don’t question if he loves me, because love has nothing to do with us. We love each other more then I think two people should be able to love. We are are wrong for each other. . .I know it doesn’t seem to be possible but I think it is. Love is such a funny thing. It can happen and without you even realize take over and just fuck everything up. It makes you question yourself, it makes you do weird things. It just. . .is. . .AHHHHH! I don’t know. It’s crazy.

I want to think that this is all a bad dream and he is still at Basic training and I’m waiting to pick him up. That he still loves me and wants to be with me. That none of this happen but it sets in and I realize that isn’t the case at all. I’m here, alone. Just me and the cats. *sad face* 🙁

Aside

I’m where?

I am sitting here in a hotel in Missouri waiting for tomorrow to get here. I have talk to Cody a few times today. I am so happy. I can’t believe the days I have been counting down is finally here. Tomorrow I get to see him. Touch him. I might freak out. I mean, I won’t.

Not sure what else to post. I am happy. I haven’t been happier in my life. I am almost sure of it. He makes my world go round.

Aside

Leaving this week

I am leaving this week to go see Cody. I just got off the phone with him. I have never been so happy. I feel like a very lucky women to have such a wonderful man. I can not wait to be in his arms, even if it is only for 10 hours! 🙂

I am also working on switching over to Habari. Not sure how I am liking it. I need some help with the theme.

Anyway, it is past my bedtime since I have to work tomorrow. I hope the next two days go by super quick. I want to hurry and see my honey bunny!