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5 Best Decisions

So around the internet today I have seen multiple people do posts about the 5 best decisions they have made in their lives and I thought I would do the same. These are not in any real order. Just what has come to mind first.

  1. Being a home owner: In 2009 I decided to stop renting a one bedroom apartment for $465 a month to buying a trailer and moving back to my home town about 30 miles away. I believe I made a good choice. I had lost my job and was on unemployment and was able to get a trailer for a really good deal. It’s a 2 bedroom 14’x60′. It isn’t much I joke but it is paid for and for right now it is home. I don’t plan on living here for ever but it works nicely until I save more money to buy a house.
  2. Learning web design: When I was barely a teenager I decided I loved the world of internet and web design. I started out on the wonderful world of Expages. Then moved to a free host, tried to find a real host with a domain. I found Pick-Me. Doing so, I found a host and a life long friend that I could NEVER see myself without. I found my Cammie. She is my other-other half. I really do love that girl. What we do for BFFs.
  3. Going to College: When I decided I was going to college, I was still in a pretty bad relationship and I knew I couldn’t depend on someone else helping me out in life. I decided I would go for something I loved: web design. I am still going and I do love it. Even if it is kicking my ass right now because of work. I’m looking forward in proving everyone that I can do this.
  4. Kyle: I know a person isn’t a decision but a relationship is. I had just started school. Been kind of dating off and on but hadn’t been seeing anyone in a few months when I met Kyle. We had a few classes together and I started to get to know him during that time. In October of 2010 we started dating. I haven’t looked back since. He is an amazing person and I truly know now why it hasn’t worked with any other person. He is my strength when I am weak. We aren’t perfect but I don’t think we could get any closer. We are engaged and set a date for October 11, 2012 (10.11.12).
  5. Caroline & Meadow: When I was 13 my mom and dad got my brother’s kids. They were 2 years old and 6 months old. I choose to help raise them. I didn’t have to give up my afternoons or weekends but I did. I still do so much for them. I think about them before I would think about myself. I don’t have children and I don’t know if I even can but I know that the gods put them two kids in my life for a reason and I love every minute I have with them. They have helped me grow in to a well-rounded person and helped me become someone that they can look-up too. They made me grow up a little to fast but we grew up together. I was a child stepping in to the shoes that I didn’t have too. But when family needs you, you do what you have to do. My mother couldn’t have taken them if I hadn’t stepped up.
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Stressed before work even starts

I am already feeling the stress of working a 40 hour a week job and I haven’t even started yet. I have been trying to work on getting everything around the house done so I don’t feel like I have to do that, work and go to school at the same time.

I am so scared I won’t be able to find a good balance between everything. I am loving the fact that I will have a paycheck every two weeks again. I am loving the fact that I won’t be stressed about money. I do hope that since Kyle is only working around 15 – 20 hours a week that he will pick up on the house work. But since I haven’t been working for a while he has got use to me doing it all and I think I might have spoiled him.

Kyle is a really good man and normally anything I ask he will do. I am hoping this will be a chance for us to grow as a couple and open a new chapter in our lives. We will be together 11 months tomorrow. I love him so much. He is wonderful about doing things and I hope I won’t have to ask, he will just do it. But it seems to be that most men don’t care to do stuff they just won’t do it without being asked. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I have been studying for a JavaScript test I have tomorrow. I am a little worried about it. I hate performance-based test. And two of my classes are like that this semester.

I think I am going to get a bite to eat before my shower. I already did my nails. It won’t be long before bed. I hope I will be able to sleep. I have class tomorrow 12-3:00 and work 3:30 – 12. Wish me luck!!

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Warm & Fuzzy Feelings

3x Thurs­day — Warm & Fuzzy Feelings: List and describe 3 things that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  1. Kyle – He takes my breath away and makes me happier then. . .well, anything I can think of.
  2. Cammie – Getting to see my best friend is totally the best thing.
  3. Food – I can’t help it. One of my favorite deadly sins.
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I am a better person because you weren’t

Tonight the ex sent me a thank you text message for returning the last of his stuff to him. (It’s only been over a year since we broke up.) I bagged it up and gave it to his father. What I really wanted to do with it, was burn it and leave the ashes on his door step like he did mine during our first break up but I am a believer in karma. So, I did the right thing.

Does it still make me a bad person for thinking that? Or wanting to do that still?

He will remain a piece of shit for what he did to me. He left me used and broken. Tried to play me for a fool and I still was going to give him another chance. Something was wrong with me. . .and I see now what it was. He had me thinking I couldn’t live without him. His mistake. I could. I had a life before him and I will have a life after him.

I told someone the other day. Him cheating and leaving was the best thing he ever did for me. Why? Because it taught me that I can survive heartache like that. It taught me watch my step and don’t just give my heart away so easily. It changed me into a better person. It taught me more then I could ever put into words. And if he hadn’t left me. I would have never found Kyle.

Kyle is the most amazing, perfect other half if their ever was one. He has made me whole again and without him I would truly be lost. I am thankful everyday for him. I wouldn’t trade my past for anything. If I changed one thing, I wouldn’t be going to sleep every night in the arms of the man I love.

So, thank you Cody. Thank you for being a piece of shit and doing what you did. I truly mean that. I am grateful now for it. I am a better person because you weren’t.