truth

Aside

I am a better person because you weren’t

Tonight the ex sent me a thank you text message for returning the last of his stuff to him. (It’s only been over a year since we broke up.) I bagged it up and gave it to his father. What I really wanted to do with it, was burn it and leave the ashes on his door step like he did mine during our first break up but I am a believer in karma. So, I did the right thing.

Does it still make me a bad person for thinking that? Or wanting to do that still?

He will remain a piece of shit for what he did to me. He left me used and broken. Tried to play me for a fool and I still was going to give him another chance. Something was wrong with me. . .and I see now what it was. He had me thinking I couldn’t live without him. His mistake. I could. I had a life before him and I will have a life after him.

I told someone the other day. Him cheating and leaving was the best thing he ever did for me. Why? Because it taught me that I can survive heartache like that. It taught me watch my step and don’t just give my heart away so easily. It changed me into a better person. It taught me more then I could ever put into words. And if he hadn’t left me. I would have never found Kyle.

Kyle is the most amazing, perfect other half if their ever was one. He has made me whole again and without him I would truly be lost. I am thankful everyday for him. I wouldn’t trade my past for anything. If I changed one thing, I wouldn’t be going to sleep every night in the arms of the man I love.

So, thank you Cody. Thank you for being a piece of shit and doing what you did. I truly mean that. I am grateful now for it. I am a better person because you weren’t.

Aside

I realized

I have realized a lot here lately. I realized that I am a very pushy person. I normally have to have it my way or no way. And I realize that that does make me sound like a bitch and most of the time I am. I like to have things my way, I like to do the things I enjoy and I like to have the things I want.

But also I realized I have changed so much since I have started dating Kyle. I realize I give in way more easily now. It’s not a fight if something doesn’t work out or I don’t get what I wanted it’s okay. It’s not a fight it’s not a hassle. I’m okay with that. I am happy with that.

Before I would have fought for days over it now. . .it doesn’t even matter. He is more important. Getting a long is all the happy I need.

Just a random moment of thoughts.

Aside

Little issues

Last night was terrible. I could not sleep to save my life. I was tired but just couldn’t sleep. I hate when that happens. I don’t think it was the Coke I drank because that had been with dinner and after that I drank water. I don’t know but it sure made it hard to get up today.

I have a few things today today around the house before I go to my grandmother’s house. I must do dishes, littler box and trash. I might also make my bed, because that always makes me feel better. Something about walking into a room with a fresh made bed, always makes me smile. 😀

Today was Kyle’s payday so I am paying bills this afternoon while he is at work. That way we know how much we have to work with for gas this next two weeks. We have school starting this coming week and he has to go back and forth to work. The downside is that the van Kyle was driving died. So, we are not a one car family which makes this really hard. But on the plus side, Kyle’s step-dad does live in BG where we go to school and Kyle works. That means I can hang at his house until Kyle gets done with work. It is going to be hard but we are looking at new cars. We only have around 3 weeks until we get our school money. They we can fix this little issue. I just hope that all the jobs I have applied for waits until I can get back and forward.

[Edit at 4:55pm] Today has turned out better then my night. I got all my house cleaning done. All bills paid that needed it. We are even going to do the yard tonight when Kyle gets home. All in all not a bad day. 🙂

PS: I added the “like button” back to the side of the entries, Cammie. I hope that makes you a little happier!!