random moments

WTF? and Poor Lily

I feel very disturbed and you know why I feel disturbed? Because there is a fanlisting for Scott Peterson. A fucking fanlisting no less for him. WTF? :yuck: I can’t believe this girl. And you know the reason why she says she likes him. Because his cute, charming. WTF is charming about a man that could have killed his wife and unborn child. Oh, yeah, thats charming to me. NO!!

She had plugged her site on my plugboard. I took it down, that’s why my button is in the replacement of it. I wrote her an email/guestbook entry. I just told her to not place her button on my plugboard anymore. I even said please. She just wrote me back saying sorry. At least she seems nice. But so did Scott Peterson….right? I guess I am making a big deal out of nothing. I just feel very disturbed. And if the webmaster reads this post: I didn’t mean to be rude in this post. It just I can’t believe it. Sorry.

But anyway, Lily our hammie mommy. She died last night. Keith and I aren’t sure of what but we both are very upset. I’m just glad the baby is old enough she still didn’t need her mom. We was fixing to take her out of the cage anyway. Poor Lily. 😥

We cleaned out Lilys cage last night and put Egg back in there and we have the baby in a cage by herself. (We believe she is a girl.) She seems to like it okay. Keith and I decided to go a head and get another female in the next couple of weeks. Not this week but maybe in a few. We both very upset. 😐

I watched Air Force One last night. I hadn’t never seen it and WOW a very good movie. I thought since it would mainly take place on a plane it would be very dumb. Not at all. You was on the edge of your seat the whole time. I was just keep saying “wow”, “OMG”, “what’s going to happen next?”, “Keith tell me!!”. LOL It was funny. I think Keith got upset with me because I kept asking questions and talking. I couldn’t help it. It was just one of those movies.

Daily Life…as always

Tara I agree with you. The smiles did kind of look clashy all different colors. I decided to go with more of a simple gray smiles from Beccary.Com. I like them and they are all the same color. Which is good. 🙂

I have a list of things to do. Not a big list anymore. I cleaned a lot in the past day or two. I cleaned the living room and kitchen. Last night, Keith helped me clean up the bed room. You couldn’t even see the floor. Well, you could see a little parts here and there. I just hadn’t put any of the clothes away in a week or so. No, the only thing that needs to be done is the little things. Pick up stuff here and there, put dishes away. Stuff like that. Which I am glad for. I am very tired of cleaning. I want a break. :yawn:

I got to shoot my first gun Sunday. I shoot a 9 mm. I shoot 9 rounds and got all 9 rounds on the target. I was very proud. At first I didn’t want to shoot it but after I did. I was like this isn’t that bad. :cute: I couldn’t believe how easy it was. I was all piss scared I wasn’t going to like it or it was going to be hard. It turned out pretty easy and pretty good. :yummy:

I almost forgot. Keith and I got the gameboy addon for the game cude and we bought Super Mario Brothers 3. We have been playing the hell out of it. :tv: I love that game. I want all the old Mario games.

I’m off to work a little on the house. Well, try too. I have to get my lazy butt up first.

I like wordpress

I like wordpress. It is going to be kind of hard to get use to it but I think I’m doing okay.

I’m tired as hell but can’t sleep. I need to add a few more hacks to this before anyone sees and I’m not to sure I have any idea what I’m doing. Yeah…. Sleep = Good. Most of the time. LMAO

I hate being female sometimes

I am not in a good mood. Sometimes I really hate being female. Lets leave it at that.

But anyway, I am trying to make some new layout themes. Kind of like what I have now, but different and new. I would take down these and add the new ones. I like the fact my site is skinned now. It took so long to get it to work. Now, after it finally works, I don’t want to take it down.

I worked on Plugitnow.Org so more today or last time. Can’t remember. I added a tag board, like mine and a theme to it. The theme was added a couple of days ago.

Our hammie babies all died but one. He/she is doing very good. One we couldn’t find and the other we found died. Very sad. I was very upset and so was Keith. Our first babies and only one lived. On the plus side, mom said Caroline (now 6) can have him/her. Which I am glad he/she is going to a place where Keith and I can visit. We would hate to sell our first baby.

Keith got payed today. We are going to Wal-Mart tonight to get a few things and plus I wanted a fish again. I miss having one. I had one at my mom and dads and now I want one again. And plus I hope having the fish tank in the bedroom will help having a white nose for Keith. We have had to keep a fan going the whole winter. Which sucks because I freeze. Damn fan!!

I also, want to change how my blog entries look. I am going to keep them the same but move a few things around. Go me. I am going to put the plugs on the bottom of the entry. Since I am finally getting a few. I also, want the plug in hack for B2 and the mood/music fill in hack. If anyone has these and wouldn’t mind helping me out. I would love you forever.

I hurt people. . .

“Realize that this life you thought was yours was a dream you had been dreaming for ten thousand years.” -Some Guy’s Finger Nail, by: me

I feel like that a lot. I mean that little bit of poem. It says how I feel. It says what I am feeling right now in this moment.

I fear that I might be slipping back in to a depression. Very slowly at first but it seems to be getting closer….I don’t laugh as much as I use to and I don’t talk as much. It kind of scares me. I use to have a lot of bad habits when I was depressed. I did a lot of things that wasn’t good for me. That hurt me physically and mentally. I use to sit and cry for hours on end about how I wanted to just be off alone. I hated feeling like that. It hurt me horrible. I almost died inside.

It was really hard on me to get better. So you can only think about much it hurts to be fearing something that has happen once and stayed for almost two years. It hurts…

I realized that I hurt people….more often then I really knew. I called an ex-boyfriend today just to talk. And he read me one of his stories he wrote for college and I wanted to cry. I think he thought he said something wrong to make me get off the phone with him but he didn’t. It’s just that I realized that I hurt him very badly. I feel so horrible for it. I have hurt Kitten more then her share. I have hurt ex-best friends, people that has been very “IN” love with me.

I have been told that its easy to fall in love with me. I don’t know if it is. I sometimes wished I hadn’t met some of those people; it would make it easier on them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that I got to be with them but in the end I believe that it would had been better to just had never met.

Off to cry, think, hope that my fears aren’t become my reality and to maybe sleep a little.