I haven’t really updated in a few days. I post little blog entries but not really posted a real blog entry. I have so many thoughts running in my head. Which is odd. I don’t know why I have had some many different thoughts about so many different things. Now I am making no sense. :question:

Last night I watched a show on A&E about a girl that was addicted to meth. It really got to me. I just sat and cried almost always through it. Most people don’t know because I don’t talk about it much but my brother, Raymond was addicted to meth for almost 4 years until he was put in jail. He lost his two kids over it and his wife left him. His two girls live with my mother and father and his wife ran off with another man.

The girls family in the TV :tv: show just kept having to deal with the same shit day after day. I really felt for her family. I love my brother very much but someone can only handle so much. I remember a lot of nights no being able to sleep worrying if this was the night my family would get a call saying my brother was dead because of an overdose.

Which is really scary since he overdosed in March 2001. He almost died. He doesn’t realize how close to death he was and the scary part is that he didn’t even realize that he was that close. That his heart rate was going from 54 bpm to 175 bpm. He had so many drugs in his system it was unbelievable. It still scares me to this day to think about it.

I hope my brother sees the 💡 light some day but who knows. At this moment in time he is in jail. At least I know he is getting 3 meals a day and has a bed to sleep in. It makes me hurt to think about the nights he use to run around and not care about anything it seems. 🙁 I have to stop talking about this now. I don’t want to cry tonight.

A couple people asked in my last blog entry if mice eat their babies. About 5% do but 95% of the time they won’t. Not unless their is something wrong with the babies or someone picks them up to early. Not like hamsters. About 45% of hamsters will eat their babies sometimes more then that. Yet another reason I love having mice. But I do love my hammies as well. I love all of my pets; Mario and Princess (mice), Chewie (teddy bear hamster), Egg (dwarf hamster) and Cookie (dog, she lives with my mother and father). WOW! A lot of pets but I still take care of each and everyone with love. I am a dork. LOL 😳