11.12.11 it begins

I’m sitting here before class, a little bored but don’t want to play on FB anymore so I thought I would blog since I am trying to do this everyday.

I asked my grandma about having the wedding at her house. Just Me, Kyle, her and Wayne, Mom and Dad, and Cendy and Melvin. Which is all I truly want there besides Cammie but she can’t make it due to poor planing on my part. But never the less we are having it. I want it to be as simple as possible. I don’t want anything big. I don’t even want to dress up, is that bad?

I feel like crap I missed my Health Department appointment this morning and I really did need to go due to all the issues I have been having. But that is another day of blogging to explain all that.

This father’s day

Most people don’t know because we aren’t proud of the fact but my father is in jail this father’s day. He never has been before but due to some very unfortunate events my father has to pull 90 to a 180 days there and then be on shock probation up to 4 years. Never the less, I never really realized that I would miss my father so much until he went to jail. I never realized how often I truly did enjoy seeing him, talking to him and so on. He is a good man. He hasn’t always been a good father but what man can say he has been 100% of the time. He has always worked hard and we always had what we needed. It may not have been the best or name brand but we had what we needed.

So this father’s day I went to visit him in jail. It was a little over an hour drive. We did get to visit for around 35 minutes. It was nice. Happy father’s day. I miss you dad, can’t wait for you to come home.

Overwhelmed

I have been aiming to blog forever. I have no real reason why I haven’t done so sooner. I have had time, I have had subjects I wanted to talk about, and so forth and so on but truly, I haven’t because I couldn’t muster the energy to do it.

The last few months have been very trying physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have started my depression medications back which has helped a little bit but a lot of it really is just pushing myself forward. Trying not to step backwards in this battle.

I twittered a while back saying “Depression is such a hard fight. I feel like I am fighting a battle I will never win.” and I feel that way 99% most of the time because of the fact as soon as I think it is getting better, it kicks me down again.

I feel so overwhelmed due to the fact, I am a full time college student now (by the way, I am very happy and proud of), a home owner (which means no land lord to call if something goes wrong), working part-time (sometimes closer to full time) and trying to have a social life. . .well, kind of a social life. The closest to one as I want to get at this moment in time. That’s a lot on my plate right now for one single person. I don’t have someone to share my stress with or help me with the things I need to get done or to even share anything with. I’m doing it alone.

I have been very lucky that my father and one of his friends has been doing the major things that need to be done outside to my home. Like building me a new front deck and they fixed my back one. We have the whole outside cleaned up. And random fact: I totally found a stop sign under my trailer. How awesome!?! 😀

Anyway, I do have more I want to write but I am lost for words at the moment. I am working on a new layout finally. I will be getting my new laptop either tonight or tomorrow. I am selling my 15.6″ laptop and getting a netbook since I have a desktop too.