family

My car is broken . . .in to

My poor, poor car. I am so upset. My car I just got in April has now been broken into over my purse that had no cash, only a debit card and a check book. I already canceled the debit card and the check book. I had just got my new ID two days ago. Yeah, I know. The really bad part about it, it was in my own drive way. I live right behind a bar. Damn bar. Damn drunk people. Damn it all to hell. WOW, that was a lot of damns.

I don’t even carry cash. They didn’t get anything out of it. Some pads, lip gloss and maybe some pictures of my family. That is it. OMG! Really? Time in jail over that. People are so stupid.

Also, on top of that. I go to call my mom and dad. Since I am on their car insurance. I can’t get a hold of anyone. Two cellphones and a house phone. No one would pick up. OMG!! I am so upset about that too. I could be dead someone and they wouldn’t even know it.

The only thing I have left is to call the car insurance tomorrow and then go find out what the bank has to say. Good thing, I had already had a new debit card coming in the mail. I swear.

PS:They took my lucky gold dollar. 🙁 I think I might cry now. I swear.

Secret Lyric Game

This is a little game I made up. Kind of like the Secret Game. You take lyrics and everyone tries to guess which lyrics are for them. Here goes:

1.)
and this is how it feels. . .
as we go on, we remember
all the times we, had together
and as our lives change
come whatever
we will still be friends forever
Graduation Friends Forever –Vitamin C

2.)
We’re just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish You Were Here –Pink Floyd

3.)
I really feel
That I’m losing my best friend
I can’t believe
This could be the end
Don’t Speak –No Doubt

4.)
Sweet 16 today
She’s looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
Butterfly Kisses –Bob Carlisle

5.)
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
I Kissed A Girl –Katy Perry

6.)
Would you look at her
She looks at me
Shes got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if shes figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
Crazy for This Girl to –Evan And Jaron

Go a head and guess. I bet you won’t know. lol You might. 🙂 Hope you like this game.

Would you want to watch it?

I randomly think about the good and bad times. The moments that make us, well, us. The moments that in an instant will either break us or make us the person we are today. The moment that changed everything about our lives. The one choice that lead us to the path we are today. I think about what moment, what choice, what help make us make this choice, this decision. I wonder how or why we got the conclusion we did.

I randomly think about the choices that have got me to this point in my life. Not just everyone else, but me. It is hard for me to believe I was married for 3 years. It is even harder for me to believe I was with Cody for almost a year. Not hard because it was bad but over all. It is hard for me to believe just over 4 years of my life is gone. . .and I am scared if I blink, another 4 years will be gone. . .If I fall a sleep, I will a wake an old women. Scared of what will lay a head of me.

My father told me as a child I was wishing my life way. You wish to be 16, then 18, then 21 before you know it, you blink your 40. I am starting to believe that. My weeks seem to be getting shorter and my months seem to fly by. I tell myself this is all because I’m so busy. I really, don’t think that it is. I think it is because of my age. I have already wished all my years way. Now time is speeding up. I remember as a kid, the summers would last forever. Our two week breaks would never end. Weekends lasted longer then just a few moments. I still get the two day weekends. They are over before I know it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not wishing to move time, I’m not wanting to change my past and I truly will never regret my past. Cody once told me, If your life was a movie, would you want to watch it?

Then it hit me, how true is that. Why live life any other way? I imagine when my life is over, when it is all said and done with sitting there watching my life. This beautiful movie, this work of art. I can imagine myself laughing, turning red A LOT, crying, wanting to change the channel but never ever taking back anything, not one moment. Never changing a thing.

I truly believe I am happy with these choices. I truly believe that I am a wonderful person. With all my flaws, imperfectness, with all of my downsides. I am truly a beautiful person and I feel like it has taken me years to finally see that. I am what ever you say I am, but I know what I am.

Shoot me please

Not much really been going on. Same old stuff.

Printer won’t work for some odd reason. It just won’t come on. Work is well work. I like it better then my old job. I like being able to sit at a desk. 🙂 My dad had to go to the doctor he thought he pulled something. Turns out he has a tumor like growth that he has to have removed and lets see, what else. I finally made a couple of friends here. Everything has been mixed up around here. Not all bad but not all good. Just in the middle it seems.

I don’t know what the hell really is going on. I have had this feeling of being over whelmed for days now. I can’t seem to shack it. I feel worried. I have been having nightmares just about every night. I don’t know. . .I just don’t know.

Never my happy ending

Yet again, nothing works out the way it is suppose too. Every time I care about someone that want to hurt me. I really truly should let this person read all the past entries. It might make them see but that is another story all together. I don’t think will ever know and I am so tired of trying.

I keep trying to update a little at a time. I am working on my father-in-laws site trying to change it over to a new server and what not. Fun, fun. Shouldn’t be that much trouble.

I finally got my hair cut and dyed. It looks pretty good. You can go to my myspace and check out the pictures. 🙂 They rock!! lol

Not much else to report. Just have to be at work a 10am and I don’t see myself going to bed anytime soon. Can’t sleep. :yuck: I really hate that.