mom

Aside

I guess I just summed it up

I am not dead. Promise.

I have been busying doing nothing. . .hints no blogs. 😀

I am leaving for a mini-vacation tomorrow morning with the family. We are going to Holiday World for two days then the last day we are going to the Zoo and the Slugger Museum. Looking forward to being with my family.

Last week my AC went out, I had one wisdom tooth pulled and one filling redone. This past Friday I had my other wisdom tooth pulled and one filling done. All my dental work is done for a while.

My parents had a small window unit to that I could use. So, now Mr. Kitty and I are living out of my bedroom. I guess it could be worse. lol

Also, my job at the county clerk office is coming to a end. Ran out of money. But I do have a job interview today for one of the departments at WKU. 😀 Looking forward to it.

I also start school on August 16th. I almost have everything ready. All I lack is a backpack. Going to get it at the book store when I go get my books.

That has been my month summed up for you. Enjoy leave comments. I promise to comment back. Much love

Aside

Really shitty

A few entries ago I wrote: “When life is good, life is really good. And when life is shit, life is really shitty it seems.” Right now, I feel like it is really shitty. Cody has canceled the wedding. Well, we have moved it up to whenever he feels ready. I am scared to death he is going to get deployed or moved to a different location and I won’t be able to go. SCARED. TO. DEATH!! Simple as that. He says he has cold feet, needs to find himself and the list goes on. I know I still want to marry him and I love him.

I am so depressed this week. I thought it would be different. So different. I thought this next two weeks would be us getting ready for our wedding and honeymoon. Getting every little detail down. But no, now I have friend flying in out of state that is coming in for no reason but to visit now. I feel bad for that. I am super happy at least Cammie is getting to come and visit still but I really wanted her to be in the wedding. Oh, well. A dress has been bought, cake been ordered, hotel been booked. Everything is going to take all this week to cancel or get a hold of people to tell them not to come. It’s crazy. It all feels like shit. I feel terrible.

I am so upset. I didn’t even go to work today. This weekend was suppose to be amazing. I picked Cody up and it wasn’t nothing like I had hoped. All I know is I feel sad and depressed. I don’t know how to deal with this feeling anymore. It’s been so long since I felt this bad.

My mom and I are even in to it over this. She is being so unreasonable. She isn’t talking to me. Whatever happen to it being my life?

Aside

What a day

Wow, just wow. That is all I have. I am so tired. Saturday during all the bad storms we had. My mom got hurt. She thought she broke her foot or at least hurt it really, really bad. Tried working on it Monday, well, but that evening. It was a total fail. Around 6ish mom calls me back to her house to take her to the ER. We didn’t get out until 2am. WTF? 🙁 Her foot isn’t broke a plus but still angry about having to wait that long.

I was so tired. I went to work just long enough to finish the book I was working on. Then I was so tired I started to blank out. I came home and went back to bed. I have felt like crap all day. I am looking forward to going to bed tonight.

I also finally got my book in from Amazon, The Virgin Suicides. I loved the movie. And so far, the movie seem to be pretty faithful to the book. Which makes me happy. 🙂 I am going to finish my pizza from Subway. Then head to bed. Night world.

8 days until my Cody James comes home. I am so happy.

Aside

What started out

to be a good day, ended not so good. Thursdays are not my day. I went to work, everything went well. It was pay day. Which is always a good thing. I went and got pizza for me and my dad. He help me bring the two trash cans around to the front of the trailer and place them up at the top of the drive way for pick up. I had cleaned all night Wednesday. Trying to get my BIG to do list done.

I had started the office. Which is on my to do list as well. Dad had taken around all my storage totes and placed them in my building out back. I really thought it was going good. I clean up part of my yard yesterday before I went to get this awesome computer desk that was given to me.

Mom and I picked it up. Stop by got my dad so he could help move it in to the trailer. Didn’t work out. We ended up breaking it before we could even get it half way in to the office. We tried everything. I haven’t felt this defeated in a long time. This was the next step in making my office in to a guess room / office. I wanted the corner desk so I could place a small bed in there as well. The bed would really help since my nieces and Cody’s little brothers spend the night often.

I just cried. Which is really stupid once I sat down and thought about it but I was so upset. I just wanted this to work so bad. I could finally have a nice desk to use. My desk I have now is so beat up. No, I hadn’t had it very long but I moved three times since I had it. And it now is very wobbly and I want a good desk. Something to hold up to my normal everyday life, plus kids, plus two cats. I don’t think I am asking for to much. Probably am. *sad face* 🙁

Anyway, I hope to still be getting myself a new desk in the next week or so. I really want to clean my office. Get my shit together because coming this fall I will be starting college. Just have one more thing I need to do before I can register for classes. I can’t wait. So, in return I really need a nice area to study and do home work. 🙂 I am so happy about that, at least.

Maybe this Saturday or Sunday I can go and get one. Dad said he would put it together in the office, so we wouldn’t have to worry about it being moved or placed anywhere else because Cody and I plan on staying in this trailer for a few more years anyway. Since it is paid for.