rant

Consequences of any misfortune

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

It’s hard for me to read some peoples post about how much they love someone when I know the things they did to that person.

You don’t love someone if you cheat on them when they aren’t around. You might love the idea of them, you might even think you care about them but if you did, you wouldn’t do the things you have done. It’s not love. . .it’s they fact you have someone right where you want them. It’s using someone’s kindness in your favor like you always have. I have no respect for people that do this to people that has done nothing but do everything for you.

And don’t blame it on “drinking”. I was “drunk”! Bullshit! You know what you’re doing. Drinking isn’t a get out of cheating card!! Drinking doesn’t gives you an excuse! You just have poor judgement and need a reason to justify it!

/end rant

You know what I miss?

I use to be so awesome at this blogging thing and then I started working full time, school full time and a husband. WTF??

I miss the internet. I miss my web sites. . .most of all I miss designing for no reason. I really want to just sit down and code a site from start to finish just because. . . 🙁 This makes me a sad hippo!

Also, it was my grandmother’s 73rd birthday today. I took her out for dinner and we went shopping all day. I really enjoy those days. 🙂 My grandmother is an awesome women. And without her I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am thankful everyday I have another day with her.

PS: Kyle got me a iPod touch 4th gen (Piggy is it’s name). I do love it! I like it way better than my iPhone, why because I can use it as an iPod not my life line.

Terrible blogger

I am a terrible blogger. I have been wanting to update, but it seems life always gets in the way. I just started another semester of school, still working and we had been trying to find a place to move but at last the house loan didn’t come through like we needed, so we are stuck here for a few more months but I made myself this promise. We will be in a house by next year at this time.

I have had so much I wanted to blog about, like ex boyfriend Cody texting me for the first time in forever or the fact that like I stated we was looking at houses to buy, or school starting. . .just really over all boring stuff.

Far as Cody texting me. He started the first text off with “Since you are still friends with my whole family we should be too” and then preceded to tell me that he “always promised to tell me if he ever got deployed“. Well, it’s a little late to start keeping promises now, don’t you think asshole!?! I’m just stating facts. You also promised to “always love me”, to “always be there for me” or and lets not forget “promised to marry me”. Did you keep any of those promises? Hell no!! Ahhh, what an asshole!!!! That’s all I got. What kind of nerve do you have to text me after all this time? I texted a few little things back but after I did I felt dirty and used and almost heartbroken all over again. . .why? I’m not sure or maybe I felt more sorry for him or whatever the case maybe. He tired texting me a week or so later but it was only one message stating “Well, Jenn I finally got my first tattoo.” I didn’t even bother responding. I’m not even going to again. I don’t like the feelings he brings up inside of me when he contacts me. I feel so much angry still and just plan sorry for him. I have decided when and I say when / if, but he has been the one to contact me every time since I decided I was no longer going to contact him back when me and Kyle got together, but like I said it isn’t if. . .it’s when he contacts me again I am going to send him this:

Error: Your message could not be sent. The Ex you’re trying to reach has moved on. Error number: 3 years wasted!

I think it will get the point across. He made comments when we first broke up if he got deployed could he still write me like he did in basic. I told him then why not write your whore you left me for. I mean, if she was worth losing / leaving me over, write her. I’m not going to waste my time on you. He seemed hurt by this statement at the time but it’s how I feel. I’m not hiding any feelings from him now. I have no reason too. Oh god he won’t talk to me again. Thank god!! I couldn’t get so lucky.

Anyway, on a better note I got another client site to do. I have two clients right now but one hasn’t got back with me since they paid. Weird, and the other one I just started. At least they are paying jobs. I love the fact I get to work on different kinds of projects that I normally wouldn’t do for myself. You know?

Far behind

Another school semester is coming to a start and I am not looking forward to it at all. I just want to be done already. Thank the gods, I didn’t go to a college for a 4 year degree, I would be really angry right now. ;-( I love the idea of school but I turned 26 in November and I feel like I should be already passed this part of my life. I should be working on my career already, not dealing with school. I feel like I am behind because I waited to go to college. Which makes in reality my age, most everyone is done with college and going out but I decided to be a late bloomer. Normal. This has always been my case. I just wanted to live, not worry about all the bullshit, but “wanting to just live” does not pay bills as much as I would like for it too. And I’m tired of not having a career.

I want that, I want to be on a 9 – 5 life. But as of right now, I am on a second shift job, school during the day and no time for anything. See where I am going with this. Ahhh! I just want to scream.

I feel so far behind. . .

Aside

Truly struggling

I have been wanting to blog for a few days but just haven’t had the time really. I just finished another semester of school. I believe I only have two more to go. I am still working but I did drop down to four days a week just because I wanted more time.

I am truly struggling with working, school and life. I don’t know how people manger to do it all plus be social or whatever else they want to do. I am terrible about balancing time. I don’t think it’s because I’m bad about losing time but I feel like I have no time to balance. I go to school from 12 – 3:40pm, I work 4 – 11:30pm. I also live a 45 minutes to an hour away. So I am gone most days for around 13 hours or more if I decide to go grocery shopping after work (thank the gods for Wal-Mart and Kroger 24-hours). I also have to find time to do homework, sleep, cook/eat, spend time with my husband and take care of house/animals. I have to say I do have a pretty amazing husband. He works also and goes to school. Most weeks are days off do not line up so we take turns with the house duties and the animals. We try to at least talk before bed and during our driving times. Text messaging is also our best friend.

I am very lucky to have a husband that does whatever that needs to be done around the house and he would must rather do it then wait and let me do it most of the time. I can’t thank him enough for all the support he gives me. I am less stressed now than I have been in the past doing just school or just work. He makes it all okay.

But I do find that my social life has taken a hit. My closest friends I never get to talk to just because our days off, or times we work or whatever doesn’t line up. I miss my friends. I have been trying to text or call to keep in touch but I am terrible about it. I am just so tired I would rather sleep than shower most nights. But I am enjoying my couple of weeks between semesters. I am going to enjoy the shit out of it. 😀

I hope to get a few projects done during that time. Blog more and spend time with my husband. :* Well, I do believe I am going to enjoy the dinner I cooked and watch some TV with the hubby!